September 15, 2006

Father

The mobile phone kept ringing woke me up from the dream I was into it this early morning. Mate of mine called me up with bad news, shocked me, words went through my mind, I was down, I was impacted, I was terribly moody after the terrify call.


‘….his daddy has just passed away…’ he uttered. With great sadness I tell you that my friend’s daddy has passed away. First thing came to my mind, he was the guardian stretching back through the generations to bless and protect his children and homes. Today our beloved husband, father and friend passed away. I hope everything will be fine to his life, and it is going to change after this moment.


I had experienced a loss (death, ending of a relationship) and I was once in the stage of "What can I do, now?" hereby, I would like to remind my friend to breath just like “Sleepless in Seattle," when Tom Hanks' character is talking about the days following the death of his wife, reliving those feelings as he speaks on the phone when he states..." I had to remind myself to breathe."


It reminded me the moment when I lost my father when I was in form three. My Dad passed away unexpectedly on June,1996 at the age of 59, a month after he was admitted to hospital for some kind of brain tumour removal operation. Mom was crying whole night after my daddy was sent back from hospital after certified dead. Father lay down in front of us, breathless; he had no ability to move, speak less, sleeping right in front of me.

Mom read out the newspaper for daddy as he usually did when he was still alive. Daddy was still stagnant on the bed with eyes-closed. My Mom and I believed that Dad knew his family was with him, he felt that…. I wanted to tell him I wasn't ready for him to leave me. If possible, I wish he shows me that he was still around watching over me, always by my side.


The first time was a couple of days after he'd passed away. Mom was lying in bed trying to get to sleep when a few minutes mom felt the warm air drifted past the bed to the window. Another night she had gone to bed when she felt someone come into the room and climb into bed next to her. (Dad always stayed up later than Mom.) She said she just assumed Dad had come to bed. A few minutes later it dawned on her... Dad was gone. Another time she was trying to get to sleep when suddenly his face very clearly appeared hovering above the bed, looking at her fondly. She reached for him but she couldn't feel him. She's told me that every visit was comforting, like he was trying to tell her that everything was okay.


I always dream of dad, I know he always there watching me. Dad loved practical jokes, he brought smile to me in my dream, I just know he was saying that he indeed is still watching over me... I love you,dad.

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