July 3, 2007

Non-self

Recently like to act cool very much in sch...
I try hard to remove my mask n show others' my sincere smiles especially to those my friends...very hard oh...

Maybe that is me...couldn't change...
In wat type of family background u r, normally tat wil determine d kind of ur characteristics...

I afraid of crowds....especially in front of females...
I am so introvert and shy that I feel very uneasy and uncomfortable standing nearby them...

I dun think i am sick...
if yes...probably it's kind of phobia i think...no reasons found so far...

I can only ease my uneasiness until there r some1 I knew or familiar with....
Then I can act like nothing happen to me...
I am very natural in moving and I carefree of others and I enjoy in my world of connection

I keep deceiving myself that I am normal but actually I'm NOT...
I am abnormal in the sense that I could do anything to attract others' attentions in order to notice my existence
BUT not too exaggerating lah...(tat only happens in imagination loh...)
I probably misuse the meaning of 'sister'
I like to call others' girls espcially those younger than me as 'sis'
I feel like more courteous and friendly by using that address...
But tat makes me feel like more 'seducing' the girls
Ya,recently I am easily attached to girls...
For god's sake...
I rather learn to enjoy their beauty/loveliness only (mayb 1 of d part of d body like eyes)
Attachment too strong is hard to be broken off and will cause miseries at d end...
Be much more alert and meticulous...
in every sentence or action tat I'm making

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  • 1樓

    1樓搶頭香

    aiyOyo..dun b so stResseD..muz chAyOk chayOk neh..
    ^__________^v

  • cheer at July 7, 2007 11:00 PM comment
  • 2樓

    2樓頸推

    After reading ur recent post.. I found tat u suddenly become very emo n negative thinking.. Wat happen to
    u!! Is it the stress of STPM? I knew tat u r not good at talking to gals.. So sometimes u might said
    something tat made most of the gals in our class very angry.. But for me, I might be angry also for ur
    irresponsible talks.. But after i think back, i knew u dun mean it so i won't b angry anymore as i won't see
    u as much as Mandy they all.. I knew u all r stress for STPM, but try to think positive.. Perhaps i dun have
    the rights to talk here as i'm also a very negative thinking person.. But that's also y i'm here to tell u not
    to follow my track.. It's not good to be a negative thinking person.. This kind of thinking just to make u
    feel lower n lower.. I'm already a person like that.. Hope my frens around me dun end up like me.. Pls be
    optimistic.. I know u all can do it, and i know tat u can do it! Looking forward to see u all to be a shining
    star!

  • Evelyn at July 9, 2007 12:16 PM comment
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