我会慢慢地把这里的文章搬到新的部落格。

 新家是wyl89.blogspot.com

要阅读的话，联系我，我会把你的blogger account加入读者名单里。

接受时，你不足。
施给时，你充足。

没有人给你拥抱，那就拥抱他人吧。
没有人给你指点，那就指点他人吧。
没有人分享你的孤独，那就分享他人的孤独吧。

我没有，是因为我只想接受。
但在我决定要施给的那一刻，我，什么都有了。

有时候，
放弃才是拥有

I mean the damn famous American medical drama. I finally started watching it, after so many people putting it as their favourite show on Facebook. Perhaps will try CSI once I get tired of it. Desperate Housewives and American Idol just don't sound like my cup of tea.

If you want something not too stupid, but still fun, House is your choice. The whole drama is about Dr House, and each episode serves as a little puzzle piece to House's personality and his philosophy. The show wants you to look inside House while keeping you busy with dying patients.

House sarcastic remarks are a bonus, but there is underlying wisdom. Like 'time doesn't change anything. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves things exactly as they were'. That was refreshing for a TV show, very few people tell you the truth so bluntly. Or very few people even know the truth.

Of course, he can't be right on everything, but the point is, he (or the writer) makes you really think - is this my own opinion or it is just what people say?. Some people can get disgusted by what he says, but no one has to agree with him on everything. In order to enjoy the show, you have to be open to radical stuffs, which means not rejecting an idea simply because it is unfamiliar.

And as you move along, you will realize that people have more similarities than differences. That we all work basically the same way. Once you figure out the rules, you can predict how someone will react to things. Which aids House manipulate people around him. But most importantly, it helps you cope with your emotions, your reactions to life events etc. Knowing how you will react gives you a sense of control (well if that helps). But people are still different, due to their upbringings, genes, blah blah blah. The most important thing, you can't be right all the time. Some things are just subjective, which means there is no one right answer. Or there is one, we just haven't found it yet, as House says.

Okay, this is not really a review, just things I learned from watching House. I suck at writing a review anyway.

Hi there, I'm back (to my normal self)!

Two more weeks and I will be going back to university to have myself soaked in the nerdy atmosphere. I'm rather excited by what I will learn this year. If I can give a rating to my 3-month long holiday, I will give it a B+. I made some important decisions in my life, and I learned a great deal. I found myself more open to new ideas, even the seemingly outright crazy ones. I learned that knowledge is good, but action is even better. I learned that attitude is important. Well, not really learned, but relearned.

2009 was a great year, it involved a major change in attitude.
And I decided that I will make 2010 a even greater year, by learning more, forming my own principles and acting according to them. That is consistent with my discovery that most of my 'opinions' aren't really mine, they seem to be mine after so many years of brainwashing. So it is like re-educating myself.

I always thought what I ultimately want is truth, knowledge, wisdom. And now I want to take it one step further, to apply those truth, knowledge and wisdom to my daily life, so that I can be the best me. I don't want to just learn, I want to create. I don't want to be a good person just because that's what schools and parents told me. I want to do things because I think it is right.

The single biggest thing to overcome this year is fear. I have had enough bad experience with shame, arrogance, jealousy, and so on. And they all stem from fear. It will take a long time but that is okay. It will be a bumpy road, but I realized I am actually tougher than I thought, and I shall bear this in mind.

I look forward to my review of 2010 at the end of this year.

我今天要回家了。Yawns。好开心哦。Yawns。等了好久的说。Yawns。

看来我的宿舍还真的不舍得我离开。Yawns。还特地办了一个别开生面的"离别会"。Yawns。
今天凌晨三点，yawns，有人故意向smoke detector喷aerosol，害整栋的人都被火警吵醒，yawns。简直是活腻了。Yawns。
现在要我回去睡也不是，我的REM cycle都被打断了。Yawns。

我还要坐一整天的飞机，yawns。很du lan的说。Yawns。

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Update:
我到家了！吃了一碗云吞。:q

年纪大了，皮也变厚了。

我发现，我好像不再那么在意别人的眼光了。以前觉得"be yourself"这句话是废话，我要是真的be myself的话，会给全世界恨死，因为太我行我素了。

但是现在的我比较不那么在乎了。不受欢迎又怎样，我才不想为了被接纳而把自己变成另外一个人。别人的闲言闲语，是别人的嘴巴，我无法控制。可以控制的，只有我自己。只要行得正，对得起自己，我管他的。与其阻止别人散播谣言，不如努力装备自己，增添自己的自信心，让自己百毒不侵。

在社交场合犯了错，造成尴尬下不了台的局面，那又怎样？过了就过了呗。认真说起来，谁会那么专心去记你的尴尬史？大家大部分时间都在想关于自己的事，别人的事根本不算什么，过了一段时间就忘得精光了。就算记得又怎样，谁没出过丑？与其试着维持完美形象，不如接受自己是个平凡人的事实。

因为事实上，无论你有多么完美，总有人不喜欢你。讨全部人的欢心是一件不可能的事。活在别人眼光下是很不明智的行为，A喜欢文静，B喜欢活泼，那要选择哪一个？别人还没高兴，自己就会先累垮了。人类很多种，遇到喜欢你的个性的，算你幸运，遇到讨厌你的个性的，也没什么，自己也是有不喜欢的人。我活着，并不是要讨取人的欢心，我活着，是因为我有我的目标，我有我的梦想。我有我的个性，我有我的规则。

说我自负也好，说我自私也好，只要我活得开心，管他的。

我发现线上论坛是一个很有趣的地方。

一个人提出问题，然后很多人开始回应。并不是全部人都有一样的看法，所以就开始有了辩论。两方都想要赢，所以竭尽所能地搬来一堆“证据”来支持他们的论点，然后一句一句地反驳对方。老实说，中学的辩论比赛和这个比，是小巫见大巫。

无论讨论结果怎样，身为观众的我多多少少会学到一些东西。

就好像：

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A：我好讨厌别人告诉我“为什么你不要决定开心起来呢？”。谁能够决定自己要开心还是伤心阿。

B：A，我同意，那是我听过最笨的一句话。情绪只是头脑里的化学物质产生的反应，不是靠“决定”就可以改变的。

C：那些人简直愚蠢到了极点，一个人根本就无法改变自己的待遇。誰被抢劫了还会开心？谁穷苦饥饿还会开心？你有办法叫一个被强奸的妇女开心起来吗？你不能。所以说，那些人不要再浪费时间在这个无聊的话题上了。

D：一个人的确不能决定他自己的情绪。但是掌管情绪能缩短你不开心的时间，继而增长你开心的时间。了解并接受自己的情绪，是驱散负面思想的最佳办法。

E：我同意。你不能决定我今天要快乐还是伤心，但是你可以决定花些时间、花些力气，让自己快乐。D，你能够使自己开心，这点很好。但这个办法并不是对每个人都有效。

F：我不明白。我伤心时根本就没有力气去掌管什么情绪。就好像掉进无底的深渊里一样，怎样也出不来。

E：我也有过像你一样的经历。那时候我需要吃抗郁药，才能走出来。但是药物只是把我从那个黑洞拉出来，让我能有力气使自己快乐。没有药物的话，我根本就没有那个力气。

D：我同意忧郁症是比较特殊的案例，所以我刚刚说的是针对非病患。还有情绪管理并不是可以立刻奏效的方法，需要一些时间。

E：可能会在这里投诉的大部分都有忧郁症？

D：可能，但是我相信不是全部。“决定开心”大致来说不是一个愚蠢的想法。它只是不能用在忧郁病患上罢了。真正出问题的不是它，是人们对忧郁症的无知。

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这是我看到的其中一个讨论的精简版。我不敢说谁的意见是对还是错，但它的确扩展了我的视野。就是要有这样的讨论，我们才会发现到自己了解得有多少。很多时候，我们都只在盲人摸象，每个人都只看到事情的一面，每个人都看到不同的一面。一个人待了再久，手上拿的就只有那一小张拼图。但是很多人在一起讨论时，我们才能把拼图一片一片拼上去，看到更“大”的图片。摒除“他的拼图和我的不一样，所以他错我对，因为我相信我的经验”的想法，才能更客观的看待事物。

不晓得下了线在现实生活里，我能不能碰到这样的辩论。可是我相信，只有在网上，人们才会比较“放得开”地讨论。在匿名的论坛里，人们可以更自由地表达意见，比较不需要担心此言一出，万人唾弃。好是好，可这点有个坏处，就是很多辩论都会沦为人身攻击。这个我可以理解，自己的论点被反驳时，总会有那一丝不甘。也因为这样，让我明白，要懂得放开心中的成见，才能有更多的收获。要懂得发言，但是也要懂得垂听，沟通是双向路。

还有，每到一个论坛，我都会不敢进入“哲学讨论专区”，害怕讲的东西太深奥，我看不懂。但是当我鼓起勇气进去时，我发现，我害怕的不是深奥的讨论，我害怕的是不明白深奥的讨论会伤害我的自尊心。就像当钢琴练到第一级时，害怕第二级会太难，所以一直停留在第一级，从此便再也没有进步过。再简单的东西，初学者都会觉得深奥。所以懂得放开了那股自尊心之后，才能真正成长。

“放开，才会得到更多”，我好像开始有点明白这句话。