aL---- ailin. TAY =)

sighs. its coming in 2 days' time. i'm kind of like in a weird state. part of me is stressed like mad, going crazy...n yet another part of me is calm, surreal, and not worried. and the thing is that the calm part of me is sort of overwhelming. rahz. like now. i shld get back to my notes. >< better not regret later. COME ON!!!!

最近比较忙。手上虽要做的事不多，但都很有分量。重得要命。
但是！这一切将只持续到下个星期五。哈哈哈哈。十一月六号当天，我将会得到解放。其实如果我努力的话，可以更早解放。
我只好默默努力，求早日达成目标吧。

心里的矛盾和平静的夜晚成了一个很大的对比。我多么希望解放的那天可以一眨眼就到，又担心不够时间做完手上的事。
这些自己制造的烦恼又像是冬天里路上结的冰。想前进，但一不小心就会向后滑，前前后后，耽搁了许多宝贵的时间。
就比如现在。

开着论文文件，写了几行看法，又无意的游览起部落格，在部落格写了几行感想，又无意的感到愧疚。

又一个礼拜过去了。头里的雾，并没散去。反而好像又浓了些。
雾里的能见度下降，看不清自己的思绪，情感。
仿佛越努力想把雾弄散，它就会变本加厉地增加自己的厚度。
只希望不会到十指不见的程度。那，可就非常麻烦了。

听了一早上的诗，突然有点心血来潮。真能五言，七言的，就把所有的情感描绘出来吗？
好妙哦。试试：

深夜独处庭扇下，深思人生意何在。
苦思终究无答案，只愿头雾散开来。

好忙好累哦。

怎么要做的事总是做不完？真是不可思议。人生啊。。。难道就只有这样而已？当然不是。但此刻却是有此想法。
乐观积极起来，只是在应酬自己。拜托啦，哪一个正常人能够积极快乐地面对readings, tutorials 和 midterms？！
时不时会向往无忧无虑，任我遨游的生活。想要做什么就做什么，无须顾虑。无须做作。无须烦恼。无须担忧。
像去深山隐居的文人一样，爽就作诗，爽就坐在地上等云散掉。

*叹气*

最近真的太忙了，少了给自己的时间，少了寻找期望的机会。24小时依旧流逝着，生命也不断地延续着。还来不及欣赏者一天，它就

well...what a turn of events. due to misdiagnosis...tabby wasnt down with kidney failure. a trip to the bigger animal hospital shows that she has a tumour growth near her intestine (hence resulting in accumulation of fluids in her stomach = vomit n not eating). the tumour was too big (too late in a sense) and doc says that complications may rise n prolonged treatment will follow if it's to be removed. hence we opted for euthanasia, which is the best way for her.

My beloved Tabby, just wanna let you know that i really love you alot, and thanks for being with us all these while. You've brought us laughter,. anger(lol), tears, and all kinds of emotions. Thanks for being such a great family member. I still remember that you used to face me with your butt when i wanna pet you when we were younger. Recently, you faced me with your body and you cute face. I'm really happy. Thank you for giving me your listening ear whenever I sing at home... I'll miss bringing you down for walks(the irony tt i sumtimes feel lazy to bring you down). It's really hard to say goodbye... and i'm not used to coming home without you welcoming me at the door, or even just lying on the floor at sum corner and looking up. I hope you enjoyed the dog treats tt i bought for you(esp the strawberry one).

You are a really special dog cos you dun like to play fetch. or rather, you just go for it and never bring the thing back to us. your worse enemy (the karang guni man) will not be there to be there to irritate you anymore, so you dun have to bark so fiercely at anyone anymore.

You are more than just a dog. You are my family, my best friend. Although its difficult, but i'll have to say goodbye anyway. But i'll always have you in my heart.

Rest in peace, Tabby.