Confuso.
Day 3: Your favorite Sub-group
SUJU-H. staying true to their name, they really make people happy just by seeing their mvs and hearing their songs. their performances are always so full of energy that you cant help but join in the dancing/singing with them. and everytime i see the live performance of pajama party, it just make me want to hold a slumber party too and do all kind of stupid dances :D
Day 3: Your favorite album
can i say 2:00PM time for change album? actually i kind of liked everything up till heartbeat. however, seeing how time for change had the most number of my favorite songs, it'll be that album. i have to admit that the still 2:00PM album is decent or even good even when some of those i know loved heartbeat or without u better. i was pleasantly surprised when i realized i could sing along to i cant if i want to, it just shows the power of having that song as the alarm tone, ringtone and message tone. you are just unable to forget about it. and, to complete to the perfectness of that sweet song, channie love it too (: yes and the boys improved a lot in this album which makes me proud as a hottest (:
right. moving on to something more personal now. im not too sure if i liked how my life turned out till this very moment. okay, i admit, i dont at all. but then, there's no time turning and i have to make the best out of everything. i really dont know if i should move out of my safe haven to pursue a dream i had since years ago or should i just stay in the comfort of my house.
there's so many reasons for me wanting to go away, even though i will be happier if i can scratch my cowardice of the list, and yet, there's so many others making me stay. even when i know some people find me worthless, i can find a handful of others who genuinely appreciated my existance.
and absurd as it may sound, my dear bear is influencing my decision as to what i want to do in future. i'm sure i cant feed on love or infatuation when im thrown into the harsh reality of this world, buy yet, im letting my decisions sway because of it. it sounds damn stupid, crazy even to some extent, and im not sure if anyone will be able to understand me at all, but then its truth that he's affecting me more than it should have. i want to be closer to him and this will mean staying where i am is the best as i know there's a 100% possibility of me seeing him here, and yet i want to get away from this place, to start my life on a new chapter and turn into a better person while pursuing my dreams. i cant even decide if i want to follow my original plan for the future, or do i just want to move on to my new goal.
i dont know. im letting people that i shouldnt give a damn about control my life, making me run away, and yet he's making me stay, just to catch a glimpse of him at times. its so pathetic, this whole thing is so illogical.
its time to start living for myself, i guess. i've tried living for myself and yet get trap in the vicious cycle of complying to other's request while facing the brunt of wrath from them for just trying to be myself and listening to my own desires.
from this moment, from the new year onwards, maybe its time for change.
