April 25, 2010

Frustrated

How could I be so stupid and careless about the work

I made so many mistakes yesterday.

Feeling upside down in my heart and soul,

I can't eat my breakfast from I bought it in the shop until now


I know that

I am not good enough to make my boss or manager 

who is serious and meticulous for almost everything especially for work

trust me at all.

I am not good enough to make anything better

You still stand on the same line which always has a distance

that I can't get through no matter how hard I struggle and try.

So many things you talk about them in "your own language"

I feel as if I am an idiot while standing just beside you

but can't understand what you are chatting or talking to each other.

And you never think of sharing those things to me

as if I am a stranger to you two.

Yeah.........

Maybe I really is a stranger to you.

It's hard to cheat myself that I am not hurt or sad or sorrowful

when you guys live and do things in your own world

thinking that I am so difficult to communicate with and

play the game you tow can enjoy but me

even if I know that's because

I can't make you trust me and set your mind in ease

when you leave words to me.


I am so heart-broken.


I hate myself for doing nothing good in the work and

thinking that I am ok.

I am such a loser.


I am hungry now but I can't eat anything.

I feel my stomach is going to jump out of my body.


I know that I shouldn't be here telling me feeling.

Beacuse it's really all my fault.

It's just because I am too useless.

I know I say anything here will become complaint

even if I say this by my ture heart and I didn't mean to complain.


I am so frustrated.

About myself.

It's all my fault.............

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Personal Category: 藍調‧灰陽 Topic: feeling / personal / murmur
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