Painful
Painful.
It was and is painful.
I don't know how to talk about it.
There are so many things hovering around me
as if they can easily tear me apart just like the water goes down.
The deciede I made was a stone,
filled with guilty and heavy enough to make me feel dying.
As the matter of fact,
it doesn't go smooth as what I want it to be
even if I think that I've prepared myself for the worst.
No.
I didn't actually.
Not at all.
Oh, god
IT's such a torment scrapes my heart day by day.
Why can't it just stop the fucking feeling like this??........
I don't wanna hurt anyone but I betray myself so many times.
Then got sorrowful and sorry again and again.
What those fucking use of being sorry and painful
I can't stop myself from hurting others
and can't keep distance from cious sprial.
Am I a perfectionist
who always set my standards high crazily and extremely?
Why can't I be just what I am?
Why I have to always be guilty and sorry?
Why......
I can't bear it anyomre.........
Nowhere is the answer to be found.
That's why I stick in the mud.
I wanna be rescued but may I be rescued?
Oh my god I got so pain !!!
Why can't I just get rid of it like time flies?
Fuck !
Fuck !
Fuck !
Oh god.......
I am dying to be saved......................

著墨SPORT(4)

Sealed (Apr 10)
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