July 19, 2010

我們該怎麼說......?

《我們該怎麼說……?》

    打從Tom四歲起,每年寒假或暑假的國外旅遊已是我們生活中的一部份。對於不是富裕的我們,雖沒有過多的金錢有豪華之旅,但總把這樣的活動,當成是全家人情感再次凝聚的特別方式;而旅遊的另一目的,也是抒解自我平日高負荷的工作壓力的方式之一;此外,我們更期盼以『讀萬卷書,行萬里路』的務實方式來帶領Tom,讓他從小即培育起開拓的視野和宏觀的國際觀。在日積月累的薰陶與醞釀後,這成了Tom十四歲即負笈海外,而有著過人的獨立性、適應力、親和力與善解人意的由來;也是一個小小的華人,能在學校裡多國的國際學生中,Tom能脫穎而出,被遴選為該校國際學生Leader的原因,我們以他為榮。

    Tom到紐西蘭讀書後,我們的國外旅遊活動,成了每年到紐西蘭探望Tom。紐西蘭成了我們最熟悉的國家。2007年我們全家人有了共識,為了不失全家人團聚的情感凝聚又能達成旅遊之效,我們與Tom選擇在雪梨碰面,全家人在雪梨為期一週的自助旅行,最後再各自搭機回到奧克蘭見面,並且陪他面試了三所大學。當時十六歲多的他,獨力的為我們全家打點了雪梨和藍山的住宿與交通,令我們這當爸媽的望塵莫及。而快樂的雪梨之旅後,全家人更許下2008年暑假的布里斯本的出遊計畫,然事與願違,OPC事件的發生,留下了這懸浮的餘願。

    2008年的暑假首次前往OPCMangatepopo河事發地點瞭解實況,因而該年無法再前往他國旅遊,當然,另一方面則是無此心情。2009年的暑假,我們嘗試著再度走出去,因此有了土耳其之旅。旅遊中,團員們朝夕相處,總不免聊聊家裡的事,在大家的相互自我介紹中,我們以含糊的方式帶過,總不敢明白的談論自己孩子的事件。此乃,一方面知道自己還沒準備好,憂心將會淚灑當地,恐嚇壞了大家;一方面也怕冗長的事件始末,壞了大家的遊興。

    今年的義大利之旅前,我們思索著如果有人問起了「你們的孩子多大了?」、「讀哪裡?」之類的問題,「我們該怎麼說?」。這樣的問題著實困擾著我們,我們花了些時間思考這問題。最後,我們決定不再以過去含糊的方式帶過,我們不該再逃避此問題,逃避非永遠之解決策略。因此,我們要勇敢的面對這一切。畢竟Tom他是一個曾經存在的個體,現在他的靈,他的一切仍存於我們的心裡,他不僅是我們永遠的孩子,且是我們引以為傲的孩子,我們應大方的介紹他,並說出事件的始末,甚至建議他們來瀏覽這個部落格。

在這次的旅行裡,果真沒錯,團員們一如往昔的話家常,當然聊起了「你們的孩子多大了?」之類的話題,這次我們不再含糊其詞,清楚的向他們介紹了Tom,也說明了事件始末,獲得的迴響是「發生這樣的事件太扯了吧!」,而後續的結果他們的反應是「太令人不可思議了!在台灣怎可能如此了結!」順道要提的是團員中有位法官,他告訴我,在台灣不會是如此的判決,會有「職務過失」的責任的判處。

事件的共鳴,讓自己不覺得孤單,這也是我們不再瑟縮於一個角落,將這Mangatepopo河慘劇事件隱藏的緣由,我們盼更多的台灣人瞭解事件始末,也瞭解這『破碎的留學夢』。這樣的事件,低調的我們,拒絕了在國外媒體上鏡頭的機會,也不希望在國內媒體宣揚。但我們期盼人們關注與瞭解此事件的真相,能像人們會去關心紐西蘭人費爾的孩子魯本在我們台灣的阿里山區壯遊失蹤一般,台灣人民的厚道與熱情,給予到台灣尋子的費爾熱心的關懷與支助。同為喪子的心境,我們可體會、也可瞭解孩子客死他鄉的哀楚,父母的錐心之痛是任何事物所無法取代的。提筆為文的抒發,除了療傷,亦盼能引起國人對留學安全的警醒與關注,不希望再有『通往天堂的留學路』的發生。

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  • 1樓

    1樓搶頭香

    Sealed

  • Sealed at July 22, 2010 02:43 PM comment
  • Sealed

  • Blog Owner at July 22, 2010 10:50 PM Reply
  • 2樓

    2樓頸推

    [Grief Story -Part 1]
    Tom Hsu’s death has left an enormous black hole in our hearts.
    Since his death in April 15 2008 , both Tom’s family & mine
    still grief deeply in our hearts with all our tears gushing over
    our pain & yearning souls.

    In the Eastern culture, Tom was the bearer of his family tree as
    he was the only child & only son to his parents. Members of his
    surviving family live daily with dark clouds hanging over their
    heads in their exhausting struggles all the time. Even now
    Tom’s parents, grand parents & relatives find it hard to accept
    (or believe) that he is gone. I for one find it hard to forgive
    myself for it was through my suggestion to encourage Tom to
    study in New Zealand that he came.

    Could his death have been averted? I am well aware that through
    negligence of the duty that six other precious lives were lost
    along with Tom. The seven were his fellow classmates and one
    teacher in that outdoor adventure tragedy.


    by Vicky [Grief Story -Part 1]

  • Vicky at July 24, 2010 07:28 AM comment
  • 3樓

    3樓坐沙發

    [Grief Story - Part 2]
    As Chinese in a foreign land with difficulty in the local
    language and subsequently not understanding NZ laws and its
    judicial processes, Tom’s families are faced with nightmarish
    hurdles culminating in tears that are hard to wipe away. They
    were greatly troubled and yet unable to utter their grievance.

    Now, every week, his parents attend to his grave, come rain or
    shine. When Tom was alive, he rang his parents every weekend
    from NZ. Now there is only a huge void in his parents’ lives;
    never to hear a phone call from their son in NZ. Tom’s parents
    ring me frequently, our conversations are filled with emotions
    and our sorrows guide and bind us, our tears pours out like
    waves, our hearts are like ceaseless sermons of suffering.


    By Vicky [Grief Story - Part 2]

  • Vicky at July 24, 2010 07:32 AM comment
  • 4樓

    福樓

    [Grief Story - Part 3]

    Tom’s life was short and yet he had explored life. He now lives
    an eternal life; his death has brought rest away from the
    earthly sorrows. Our love for him is forever & our memory of
    him is everlasting. We have to accept this pain that God has
    bestowed on us in our journey through this ocean of life. To
    quote our fellow country man, Dr. Lin Yu-tang “Hope is like a
    road in the country; there was never a road, but when many
    people walk on it, the road comes into existence.” Likewise,
    Hans Christian Andersen, a Danish author & poet said, “A human
    life is a story told by God.” This is life as God decreed.

    By Vicky [Grief Story -Part 3]

  • Vicky at July 24, 2010 07:34 AM comment
  • This afternoon, I saw a rainbow, it reminds me to miss Tom, Tom and his classmates like the rainbow in the sky watching us.
    Your article in every word, all speak out our mind and touches our hearts, thank you, please take care of yourself.

  • Blog Owner at August 1, 2010 11:16 PM Reply
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