Imago
昨天閒晃的時候看到這篇 裡面有提到個心理學名詞Imago(就是image的拉丁文)
裡面主要提的就是長大以後的人際行為 跟兒童時所受到的對待是有關係的
如下表(from http://imago.com.au/WhatIsImago.php)
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Attachment Stage
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If Your Carers Are ...
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You May Feel ...
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And Tend to Exhibit ...
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0-1½ years
"safety and belonging" |
reliably available and warm
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safe
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secure attachment
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cold and rejecting - "don't be"
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unwanted, rejected - "I have no right to exist"
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withdrawal - "avoider"
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inconsistently available - "don’t need me"
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abandoned - "I can’t get my needs met"
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holding on - "clinger"
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Exploration Stage
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If Your Carers Are ...
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You May Feel ...
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And Tend to Exhibit ...
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1½-3 years
"connected separateness" |
providing protective limits and encouraging exploration
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free to investigate
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curiosity
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smothering, overprotective - "don’t be separate"
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smothered - "I can’t say no and be loved"
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distancing - "isolator"
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neglectful - "don’t be dependent"
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neglected - "I can’t count on anyone"
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pursuit - "pursuer"
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Identity Stage
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If Your Carers Are ...
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You May Feel ...
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And Tend to Exhibit ...
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3-4 years
"sense of self" |
mirroring identifications and supporting assertions
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accepted for who you are
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an integrated self
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selectively mirroring, controlling - "be what we want you to be"
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shamed, dominated - "I can’t be me and be accepted and loved"
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rigid, punishing - "controller"
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deflecting and invasive - "don’t assert yourself"
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invisible, used - "I’ll never be seen, valued, and accepted"
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yielding, self-effacing - "diffuser"
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Competence Stage
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If Your Carers Are ...
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You May Feel ...
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And Tend to Exhibit ...
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4-7 years
"personal power" |
giving clear instructions and supporting efforts
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self-confident
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empowerment, positive risk taking
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selectively praising and demanding excellence - "don’t make mistakes"
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punished, guilty - "I have to be perfect"
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competitiveness, limited praising - "competitor"
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ignoring achievements and offering no guidance - "don’t be powerful"
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achievements are devalued - "I can’t be aggressive or express anger"
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manipulation - "compromiser"
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Concern Stage
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If Your Carers Are ...
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You May Feel ...
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And Tend to Exhibit ...
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7-13 years
"friendship" |
modelling and encouraging good friendships
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comfortable in relationships with peers
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healthy friendships, including a "best" friend
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overprotective, disapproving of friends - "don’t be close"
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rejected, lonely - "I’m not lovable"
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lack of connection - "loner"
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disapproving of autonomy and self-care - "don’t have any needs of your own"
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own needs are not legitimate - "others need me"
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taking care of others - "caretaker"
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Intimacy Stage
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If Your Carers Are ...
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You May Feel ...
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And Tend to Exhibit ...
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adolescence
"closeness and loving" |
supporting intimate relationships and sexuality
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comfortable with adult intimacy
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positive sexual and emotional partnerships
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overly restrictive - "don’t grow up"
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controlled - "I am not trusted"
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rebellion, suspicion - "rebel"
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conservative, rigid - "don’t be different"
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disapproval - "I have to do what’s right"
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self-righteousness - "conformist"
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還蠻有趣的 心理學 :D
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