SHOW ME THE ST4GE

left with less than 50 days to 2010.
i'm so sorry to remind you guys about it.

jialat ah
Numerous tasks to be fufilled before the year comes to an end.

believe me that im going crazy anytime soon ,
emotionally unstable ,
mentally screwed.

after tonight i'm gonna let my hair down for 12 hours before focusing on studies again.
I just need a break!
will be grooving to the head banging music tomorrow night at dbl o.
A last minute decision.

good night earth and dearest saints


P.S: why won't we stop our mistakes when we already know it well enough,
        learning how to treasure only when it's almost gone.
        when you are about to lose its presence then u know the importance of it.
       most of the time when we start to realize things ,
       it's probably too late for us to salvage it.
       and then we start to feel regretful,
       assuring ourselves that there won't be a next time.
       because we are just too sure we won't be dumb enough to let history repeat itself again.
       and what happens is,
       the same thing happened for the 99th time.

JS and guys were teasing me that i'm still 5months away from graduation.

I was practically feeling pek cek because i still couldn't start doing what i want since i had to focus on my studies.
After much thoughts, i realise it's actually something i should feel glad about ,
because these 5 months are here for me to plan out what i gonna do in the near future,in a more precise way.
My goals and directions.

Like what Mr Billi Lim said, your goals should be more precise in order to fufill it.
Take for instance you want to earn 'alot of money' in the next 2years ,
what's your defintion/precision of 'alot of money'?
without a clear and precise target it would be tough to achieve ur goal and might just take forever to earn it.
It's just like telling the cab driver you want to go west side but 've totally no idea where to stop.
After getting a clear picture of what you want,
plan out step-by-step methods,
and finally ,
EXECUTE IT!

Enjoyed a long conversation with Nazmi just now,it all started when we got to know we both own a DARE TO FAIL book by Mr.Billi Lim.
We talked about property,investments,financial planners,religions and stuff.
Now i know who to look for when i need to borrow books on property and motivation/inspiration!

I like discussions on these topics as when you discuss, you get to see another person's point of view, and gain knowledge from it.
That's how we learn, from a person's experience and knowledge.
Friends learn from each other.

Speaking of which i disagree with some peeps who felt that they don't need to have much friends,just one or two close ones would be enough.
Eventually you'll see the need to network ,
when you have a wide contact base,
whatever difficulties you face doing business there's always someone to help.
Provided you know how to treat people with sincerity.

And the times when you're at your worst,
someone could be there.

True,like they say,give without hoping to receive.
Still,
friendship is a two-way relationship ,
you help me ,i help you.
If you're always on the receiving end and doesn't bother to be giving ,
you are sacrificing the friendship at your own expense.
At least appreciate what people do for you and not take them for granted.
I'm not obliged to help you leh,think about it, how many times i go the extra mile to help you without feeling appreciated?

Sometimes i'm really sick of being there for friends who doesn't bother to be there for me when i needed them.
All they wanted was fun and accompany instead of friends who are willing to share your burden with you.
Thank God it's like 1/7 are like that only.
Tired uh? I bet it's time to filter again.

PS: Maybe through one's flaws you get to know who's true to you and who's not.

i miss my friends.
Many of them.
I haven't had a chance to catch up with them.

I miss going to Liquid Gold ,
i miss chill out sessions with 'Very singer' course mates,
i miss girlfriend ,
i miss winston ,
i miss shawn ,
i miss my sister ,
i miss partyworld ,
i miss going to geylang for nice food.

Everybody having assesments, work , exams and projects ,some with work quota to hit.
and when they're free from datelines, i'm having my exams already.
Jinglun was back for promotion for his drama 桃花小妹 ,but i couldn't make it due to work,and now he's back in Taiwan.
Since he flew over to Taiwan ,the four of us hadn't a chance to meet up.
=(  i seriously miss them.

Didn't had a chance to meet up with Leonard too ,when're we gonna chat ?!

And i'm still waiting for a Jap lunch with bad ,yet he's so busy performing and having exams.

I miss going down to EY ,and misses some of my brothers and sisters . Especially 19th IHT.

Many many more people that i haven't seen in a long time.

And i miss the puzzle fighter challenges !

=(  so many of you started working and the group splited ,
especially those who are posted overseas.
I seriously miss you guys alot.

My secret messenger, where are you?
I have so much to talk to you,
so much to complain ,
so many things that i've been hiding from others,
all the emotions that i doesn't want to show

Sometimes it's hard to contain all the emotions and i seriously need to spend a day alone releasing it.

Probably it's easy to read me most of the times,
but other times you won't be able to guess what's on my mind ,
because i couldn't get it right too.

Anyway ,i'm planning to go overseas between 25th- 31st dec
just somewhere nearby like M'sia ,thailand or Indonesia instead of joining Serene in Taiwan.
Do let me know if u guys are interested ,
maybe a 2d1n trip or 3d2n.

PS: The fb quiz on what horoscope are you attracted to is pretty amazing ,
i just did the quiz again and it showed Gemini.
*i dreamt of a Gemini hours ago ,
and that was one of the most memorable dreams that i had.
It's just about memories ,
he's still the best guy i had despite us getting tgt not long after we know each other.

I'm feeling thankful today ! I thank God for having these nice people around me. Really appreciate everything that you do. (: Chris was being so nice today ,knowing that i fell sick he bought herbal tea and strepsil. And it took me by suprise, a pleasant suprise. Thank you! Yes, i finished my drink already. hehe. Another person i had to thank is Chia Weilong. (: saved me by helping out with my assignment. Thanks for the effort and it really helped me alot. I spent so much time brainstorming on how to do the report but just couldn't get it right. If not for him i wouldn't have finished my assignment on time. U GUYS ARE JUST TOO GREAT ! =D In order to show that i'm grateful, here i present u my token of appreciation. HAVE FUN!

in the past i used to think that if u want a person to change,he/she will not be the same anymore.
It was thought to be a selfish act.
Somehow or rather, i just realised
that everybody changes from time to time due to their experiences and surroundings.
so what's wrong with changing somebody or being changed by someone?
eventually u will realise you are who you are right now,
because of the changes.

As i was searching among my shitload of stuff in my drawer for the handphone pouch my brother gave as a xmas present ,
i saw a seemingly familiar object that lies within the garbage.

It's my diary in the year of 2005 - 2006 ,
and i realise the turning point of my life is in mid 2005,when i was sec3 .
I was really ridiculously childish at the start of year 2005 ,typing in incredible language and a cool level of immaturity.

As i read through ,i noticed my diary entries were uber emo ,
talking about suicide and loneliness.
I didn't know i was so pathethic in the past.
Without much friends,keep complaining that nobody cared about me.
Yes i was quite pathethic ,
only had cousin and Ivan standing by me when many conflicts arise.

I still remember vividly that i got tgt with a 19yr old guy when i was just 13 ,
and had 2 flings when i was 13 ,all the guys are at least 16yr old,and they're really cute.
That's only in sec1 . HAHA

It's until mid 2005 that i stopped writing about those shit ,
and i can feel my happiness then just by reading through.

:D whee !
Finally i'm adopted by my adorable classmates for project .
I'm so excited ,reeely.
I'm already starting my assignments today .
Bet there's not gonna be any sleep deprived nights ahead ,
no more procrastination ok.

Downloaded all the mambo songs ,so apparently there's nothing much to worry about anymore. hee

On my way home i actually went to Ang Mo supermart and bought all the wonderful items that's not to be missing in my life! 
I always need a bottle of red wine in order to allow me plunge into deep sleep.
Now i decided to try something new yet as healthy. 
So i got my choya !
15% alc .


I'm off to meet MARCUS CHUA KOK KOK ,my chua brother. 

(: and then caleb & Fish !

and i'm studying steel , taking a deepolma in , *paused for 10seconds * Management sturdies.
I like leopard preens
My fashion is to be myself ,it has to shout MEEEEE ,like , boomZ !

hahahah. Does this remind u of our dearest ex-miss world RIS LOW ?
I don't dig laughing at someone's diction.
But this Ris Low really make me feel ashamed of her as a fellow 19-yr old.
Fancy taking 'revenge' at the first-runner up as Ris thought she was the one who leaked out the information on the credit card conviction.
I thought she will feel apologetic and sorry for her own mistakes,BUT NO!
What matters to her is the person who 'backstabbed' her.
C'mon, this credit card thingy might be a thing of the past, but apparently she doesn't sound like she's willing to change her ways.
This shows how immature she is.
( DOES THIS RIS LOW REMINDS YOU OF A 19YEAR OLD GUY ? HAHAH ! DUMB SHEEEET! )

According to 8 days magazine ,she was found with notes inside her pencil case during her hospitality exam and made to retake the paper.
TSK . I dont think this happened more than a year ago.
The credit card conviction took place last year too, but she said to the press that it was a mistake she did when she was young.
She's pathethic,i can't help but to agree ERM made her the winner just because she spent the most money to sponsor the event.
BITCH.
Shame on the person who picked her to represent Singapore.
It's time to change ur wires.

I'm so sorry ,i'm not stereotyping or shit ,but it really proves that people from her school are really like what rumours has described.
RICH AND DUMB WITH NO STANDARD.
Most of them i mean,i have my own explaination for saying that, uber logical one,trust me.

Ah yeah,look that cool thang below .
The middle one , her name's AVOLUTION! 
Long time no see and suprised to chance upon her in JB. <3 always.
 

Last friday was the last lesson at St Hilda primary school.
Did i tell u i was guessing if i'll see my cousin since she's a student there.
The first class first lesson , saw her face already.
I heard someone calling me 'jie jie' and had this very bad feeling, 
turned around and i was right ,she's in my class. 
Look at the cuties.
 

The adorable puppies found in maqrius' car .
Forgot their names ,but i would like to name them ' the maid , kissme and ah tao ' respectively. 
 

Look at maqrius' collection of caps. 
Holy sheeet.
 

Since that spooky incident at Changi Jetty ,they advise me not to take pictures. 
But still , here we are, at Punggol jetty !
From left , Capricorn , Virgo , Aquarius 1 ,Aquarius 2 ,Cancer and half of me.
 

Met up with Caleb and Fish after school on a fine afternoon at Novena ,
Caleb was released from camp to consult a specialist because of some skeeen allergic matter.
This photo might remind of of somebody. hur
He put his hand there to cover his swollen eye in case u don't know.
 

You know how good is this ramly ?
 
The picture's too dark that u can't see !
BUT THE TASTE IS , BOOMZZZ !
Way too delicious than the Ramlys we can find in Singapore.
Every mouth of it is like oooooooz ,heavenly.
Singapore's Ramly has to be covered with plenty of sauce to make it tastier ,
while JB's doesn't have to. 

Look at what these M'sia custom officers did to my passport .
' change photo ' ' change photo' 'change photo' .
They drove a poor girl crazy seriously ,
she had to spend $80 to get a new passport.
  

If this photo fails ,
i give up :(  no malaysia anytime soon.


I would love to thank Fish(ed) for this lighter ,
absolutely.
I think it cost $3.50 /$7 for each. 
And i'm so gonna exchange this blue for a pink,with Caleb.
I've no idea what was Fish(ed) thinking when he gave me the blue one and Caleb the pinky.


SINGAPORE IS REEELY SMALL I TELL YOU !
Last thursday Justin and I decided to meet up for lunch after my school ,
Adelin asked if wanna eat tgt ,so i thought ,why not ask Justin to walk over since we gonna lunch around that area too.
When Darren and Justin saw each other their face were like , "EH ?! "
Cool , they were actually close frens in primary school and the last time they saw each other was last year.
They chatted about their primary school clique and i wasn't really attentive since they were talking among themselves.
UNTIL , i heard the name ,Yong jin , the surname LIM .
Clarified with Justin if the Yong Jin was my secondary school senior , he really is.
Although all stay around the same area ,but the chances that i'll meet them is pretty slim right ,
as in ,you see.
I know Yong Jin from DYSS and i wasn't that suppose to know him too ,becos she weren't in the same CCA or whatever shit and i can't remember how i got to know him. And it wasn't just that kind of Hi Bye friend .
Then i got to know Darren from SIM , when i retain 1 semester and joined his class ,didn't talk until 2 semesters later.
Finally , Justin . From IT Fair , and became good friends .
Followed by a moment that i realise they were once close friends. 

The funniest incident that happened was a cafe meet up in August last year . 
Mich said earlier that JK looks pretty much like a eurasian when she first met him when i was suppose to pass JK his gift .
I commented that i had a friend who looks very eurasian too and we started talking about the that friend, apparently s Ivan.
Mich began to reveal that Ivan was my ex and how possesive he used to be (he wasn't) and JK listened attentively.
He slowly become curious about how this Ivan guy look like and such.
I met up with Ivan after that, we started telling him about JK ,like his looks and the car he drove.

About a week later me,JK  and Mich went to do some groceries shopping together ,and i asked Ivan along since he was rotting at home.
when JK and Ivan saw each other . WAHRAO. I tell u,until now i steeel cannot forget the look on their faces !
Mouth and eyes open big big and stared at each other for 10seconds.
qn:what's with the reaction?


answer : They are cousins ,and, they are very close cousins.

I later got to know that JK has been telling Ivan about us , Ivan has been telling JK about us and we had been talking about JK to Ivan and Ivan to JK but we didn't know we every one of us knew each other !

Like Robin knows Samson ,
Gospher knows Girlfriend and Huiting ,
Junius knows Kenrick they all,
Randall knows Zac. 

Wa,this world sibei onz leh.

ouh , i'm finally renewing my passport before the custom officers at woodlands checkpoint really send me back to singapore.

and yet ,again i left something in jeff's car after jb trip.
This time is my PASSPORT ! 
tsk ,i found my avolution there and also went to New york hotel area ,
that place's totally full of memories.

Mind you,we had supper at 'Geylang Lorong 9 Frog porridge' these weird ppl go over to JB to have SINGAPORE FOOD !

A , B , C 
i'm really scared to make any decisions .
I know one wrong step will cause me everything ,
and whichever decision i make i'll lose something .

But again ,the past few weeks were great .
Everything was just nice and beautifully done,
Made many new friends, and all seemed interesting to me.

I had fun in JB , i learned more about christianity and i felt the care and concern from people.
Not forgettingJustin and Tom .
They really painted colours in my life,especially Justin.

And of course ,FISH & NAS & COUSIN ! (:

I love u people,thanks for being there for me always no matter what shit i ran into.
The following weeks are expected to be really complicated, that's for sure.
Unless i can make up my mind ,which is hardly possible looking at this situation right now.

I don't want anybody to get hurt,
but i don't know how to make my stand clear.
Holy spirit please bless me !

I'd rather be the toothbrush than the toilet roll although it both equally sucks.
this kinda scenario happens frequently in life . HA !



ANYWAY ! I had my fair share of fun and laughter peace and joy during work at Comex show 2009 ,
10 sept - 13sept. 
Sad to say,my last day sales buanged,
the lowest among all the days that i worked.
AMAZING ,right ?
must be the alcohol that severly hurt my throat the night before.

During these days ,
i realise my broken english really damn zai.
shockingly pro.
As quite a number of the customers were foreigner,
we had to speak in those ultimate simple english.
My friend was secretly listening to me while i was serving an indo guy.
and he felt that i was scamming him.
My english vocab was extremely limited and i used the words like ,
' GOOD !' ' BAGUS!' ' NO BLUFF' 'NICE NICE' 'SHIOK' 'WHERE FIND' 'NO FIND ONE' 'GOOD UNTIL CANNOT!'
but these magic words like, 
' free!' 'damn good!' 'best!' really works magic.
whenever i speak broken english i close deal,
this somehow imply that i communicate better in broken english.

This last deal that i closed was the funniest, 
my friend texted me to meet him outside the show,when i was walking out i saw this indo man standing infront of our toshiba board.
so i went to disturb him,totally no intention to close,since he doesn't look like he's gonna buy a laptop.
i talked to him for 2mins, he didn't reply me at all. 
when i was about to give up,he finally say ," this one,good ?"
"GOOD LA SIR !NO GOOD WE DON'T PUT HERE !I TELL U AH ,THIS RED COLOUR WE HAVE OTHER PEOPLE DON'T HAVE!VERY PRETTY U KNOW !DON'T SAY NOT GOOD,TODAY LAST DAY ALREADY I GIVE U ALL THE FREE GIFTS I CAN GIVE . OK NOT? OK RIGHT ! OK COME IN SEE THE MODEL !"
indo man: "expensive know."
"SIR ,ASK U SEE,NO ASK U BUY ! SEE FREE ONE. NO BLUFF! U WANT SEE I NO BLUFF U THE RED PRETTY U COME IN SEE! GOOD!"
indo man:"sure not,what free u give?"
"I TELL U LA,U BUY NOW FROM ME,I GIVE U ONE THUMBDRIVE,TOSHIBA!GOOD QUALITY OK! U GO ASK OTHER PPL THEY WONT GIVE ONE HOR!"
indo man: "really? u sure give me?! what other u give?"
"WAH SIR ,DONT LIKE THAT LEI.THAT'S THE BEST I CAN GIVE LEH. *pause* OK LA,I CUT MY COMMISSION I GIVE U FREE PRINTER !THIS ALL IN ONE CANON PRINTER LEI,CAN SCAN ALSO! OUTSIDE SELL EXPENSIVE LA. I GIVE U FREE,SAVE MONEY.GOOD DEAL RIGHT !"
kao,give him so much he still must think lei,just nice samson walked by so i hinted him to come over,2 salesperson more pressure.
eventually he went in to check the model out :D 
went in,show him the model talk cock abit. then done.he bought!HAHAHAHAH
my friend only remember hearing me say ," SIR NO BLUFF." "THIS ONE BEST" "BEST PRICE BEST QUALITY U KNOW!"

lol.overall it was fun working there the four days.
not only did i earn extra pocket money ,
i also earned myself friendships (:

1. Justin / Jia xin
We just have so much to talk about.
Like,secrets and gossips.
he into astrology and christianity too.
he sings well and likes to sing. 
he's a cantonese, so i got a partner to sing canto with me.
amazingly i found out he goes to nativity alone at night too.
i thought im the only one who likes to go church alone late.
we got to know each other from this comex show only but close to the extent that cynthia thought we knew each other long ago.
And he also realise that although we just know each other machiam like know very long ago.
I bet we'll be meeting alot in the future since we stay near.
and yes,i'll be meeting him and tom later. 
also tomorrow!
friday too.



2.Samson
worked together since the previous pc show.
he's a sagittarius,so naturally can click!
he study in SIM too.
and we gonna head over to mambo next wed,it will be his first time there and i'll be introducing him into the FUN world.


3.Cynthia
this girl is really very nice,
although my first impression of her is AH LIAN.
but slowly i began to realise she's a very straightforward and nice person.
usually when we are busy serving our own customers we had no time to help others,
but she did.



The whole fair i hang out most with tom and justin,
other times i'll be talking mostly to cynthia and samson (:
i really hope they will be there the next fair !

i finally found the song that has been recurring in my mind last night,
and then i realise it's by my favourite singaporean singer.
tsk,sorry derrick.

斑駁的屋頂 以天空的冷靜
悲傷早已經 過境
泛黃的書信 手寫的愛情
躲在抽屉里 安靜
廣場 時鐘 把眼淚敲醒
你的 背影 一直那麼近
以為時間可以 沖淡那些美麗
心痛怎麼越來越清晰
以為過去可以 逆时针的忘记
思念卻一直若無其事 順時針前行
後悔在手心 寫滿我的名
卻寄不到你的心
是我太任性 捏碎你給的 珍惜
留給你無聲哭泣
閉上 眼睛 回憶像碎冰
那些 遺憾 重複地放映
以為時間可以 沖淡那些美麗
心痛怎麼越來越清晰
以為過去可以 逆時針把你忘乾淨
思念卻一直若無其事 順時針前行
一個人其實不孤寂
想一個人才最孤寂
原來呼吸是為了提醒一直在得傷心
愛若能回轉到分開的雨季 嗚BABY
多想告訴你我真的在乎你
就算時間可以 沖淡那些美麗
我寧願它停留在原地
就算過去可以 逆時針把你忘乾淨
我還是選擇把你的笑 挂在我心裏

this song depicts a person being in a regretful situation,
missing a person like nobody's business ,
yet the clock is still ticking away.

i know i should be studying now,but something is stopping me.
something is distracting me.somehow i couldn't figure it out.
i just figured i need a short getaway soon.
time is running short,i'm turning 20 real soon.
yet i'm still here,on the same spot,
nothing really changed.

this ain't the real me,
i hate being like that.
being tied down by things.

deep down in me sometimes i feel like a loser,
overseeing my priorities,
always trying to please the majority of whom i call friend.
sometimes even going the extra mile and afraid to admit.
for the fear of being taken for granted.

i like to understand people and their way of doing things
who is there to understand me?

u gigantic bootlicker,
i'm so sorry to hate u since God doesn't want me to hate anybody.
But i can't stop myself from finding u resembling a cockcroach, a two faced one somemore.
you are damn good at acting.

The kind of people i can't tolerate most is those with two faces.
can't stand it,even more irritating then the normal cockcroaches that lay eggs.
I thought u are still young,
but being two faced seems to shown that u are 'old' enough since that's what people do to gain all advantages.

I really hate these gigantic-bootlicking-double faced cockcroaches,
cannot tolerate at all. Maybe i'm stupid by not being a good bootlicker,
at least i never act against my conscience.
u must be thinking why am i reacting like that,
because i treasure friends ,am disappointed at my own judgement.

People who haven't realise what kind of person she is,i pity them.
now i know why i prefer talking to guys,cos some girls are really dangerous.
Guys are much more simple,in a good way.

tsk,
the sight of ur face irks me ,
the thought of u too.

gigantic-bootlicking-double faced cockcroach.

teehee
i love my many many new things <3

all in 2days ! :D
me is happy when me see new things that gonna stick w me for long.
me still waiting for my new cardholder from bro since he texted me 2days ago.


I finally bought a mini blackboard ! At daiso ,cheap cheap $2. 
I also purchased a liquid chalk marker together with it,



And i started to vandalise my brother's room ... ...




In fact,i was trying to motivate him !
If u notice, i was doodling all the positive words ,
teehee.

He must be feeling uber proud having me,karyn chua,as his sister.
WOO!


And i bought 4pieces of mask ,
in order to improve my terrible complexion.
It total up to $10 only ! :D



TADAH!
My long awaited birthday gift from winston,
u must be thinking why am i receiving it only in august when my crackday's in April.
That's what i was wondering too ,
EVERY YEAR .
I only get it from him in August, EVERY YEAR I TELL U!
no kid!


Amethyst ! :D although the prezzy came in abit late, i still love it. 
Thanks bro ! <3


My new ring ! $4 only :D


Yeejia bought a similar bracelet . $4 too . HEH
  

My beautiful bracelet.
In case u didn't know, i lost my bracelet this feb in malaysia during a training course. 
Exactly the same design,heart damn pain since it's one of my most expensive buys.
It cost about $420
And now i got a new one !:D


Oh,and after today's orientation ,
I'M FINALLY PART OF LION BEFRIENDER :D




Last photo of the day :
     

to get myself outta this state.
I've no idea what's going on in my mind nor in my heart.
i feel so restless & aimless,and i don't deny it's not my first time saying that already.
My sm always say that i felt different when i'm working & when i wasn't.
He's right,he got it damn right.
Since i hasn't been working in EY for a couple of weeks i wasn't feeling right at all.
I felt so useless & inferior.
Enjoying life just like how other teenagers do,
slack around,go drinking and shopping.
I must have taken a break too long that i have to start learning how to 'walk' again.

Somehow life hasn't been the same and it has been changing from time to time,
forcing me to adapt life the way it goes.
People walking in and out of my life,
it's not whether i can accept it or not ,but i have to.
Happiness doesn't last forever.

The worst phase of life up till now is crossing the 18-line.
Before u turn 18 u can enjoy life & be childish like nobody's business,
u can stay naive & immature for all u want.
On the contrary,once u turn 18 u have to throw all that away,
force urself to get out of the teenage life.
Plan for ur own future,make use of every tick of the clock.
Start to step out of ur comfort zone and make ur way through to reality.

My sm said something yesterday which instill fear in me & made my tears flow.
"Karyn has lost her colours.I hate this her,i hate it & i'm fucking serious."
I didn't expect him to be so harsh on me though,but it has been a jerking moment.
Y'know that kind of feeling, when u realise u aren't urself anymore.
It's even double confirmed when ur good friend tells u that.

Darren told me i'm bad at judging people,
for this ,i beg to differ.
I can be good at judging one if i really want to.
But i just thought ignoring people's bad points and stop judging people will make uself happier.
Moreover,who am i to judge anybody when only God is supposed to.

Now,
I'm finding my way back to being myself,
i have no reason to please anyone.
I've no reason to think that anyone will be nice just because i'm nice to them.
Or maybe i will just because i'm obliged to since Jesus said so.

I just felt that i would rather not get into a relationship because nowadays people are damn crazy.

especially it's so rare to not have a failed relationship ,i mean,unless it can last through marriage and till death,u will have to go through failed ones.
Imagine the aftermath of it,it can drive someone to suicidal even.

So many complications involved in a relationship.
Especially when two individuals are stubborn and egoistic,how is the relationship gonna work well with neither able to give in.(I HATE THIS OK!)

Trust is another grave issue regarding bgr ,i dontknow how to explain it.
it just feels that trusting someone totally is taking a big risk of hurting urself.
Moreover 3/4 of the guys i've met including friends and acquatainces,have cheated on their gfs before.
Half of the 3/4 thinks it's normal and they cheated on their gfs more than once.
Harmless flirting i wouldnt mind ,but sometimes harmless flirting can lead to serious consequences.

I do admit that i agree with him that after all that relationships u've been through,
after all that lies and such ,
u will want to settle down with someone whom u won't have to lie to,even for once.
I do hope to indulge myself into such beautiful relationships too.
However,the possibilty of the existence of such relationships is so slim.

i felt a tinge of fear after going through all these,that it makes me wanna hide myself away from shit.
should run away fast enough before i couldnt control my own feelings.

I feel exceptionally down prolly because i'm scared i would fall for someone,
get caught in the web again and then struggle to get out.

My horoscope this week calculated that i'm sick of relationships and wouldnt want to get into one again ,
awfully true.

i'm lazy to sleep because i rather don't sleep so that i can go for a jog at 6am ,
back at 7am,
shower then read papers and magazines till 8am,
study all the way till 2pm,
watch Teevee until 4pm.
Get dressed up and move my ass to Bishan to meet Fish ,yeejia and Jean FOR PIZZZZZZZZZZZZA.
Caleb couldn't join cos he has house warming and i just texted Jason 5seconds ago :x
Caleb, that shithead kept repeating and repeating that i was #1 on his FB crushbot.
He even print screen-ed it.

sigh,i like late nights like this.
Although it feels abit lonely,
but this kinda quiet gives u a better chance of reflecting about life.

Everyone seems to be in desperate situations right now.
i'm sorry my darlings,
i'm bad at consoling people,
so all i can do is to lend u a listening ear and accompany u.
All that i'll say is what i feel from the bottom of my heart.
Time heals ,i'm sure u guys have been through these before.

I hope Kailing can make up her mind soon,
and please don't be so impulsive anymore.
i know it's not easy on ur part too,but ya.
I hope things sort out by itself fast!

joch,stop being so emo,just remember u've got friends around so stop saying u are alone and want to die,
blah blah ,what very lonely,no friends. 
bullshit.

cousin i somehow can understand how u feel.
it feels terrible when before everything start,it already ended.
That happened to me before,It was horrible and i remember crying myself to sleep.
It's not nice seeing u getting really upset about everything and not coping well since it's like a double dose of stress including ur work.

My secret messenger,i hope everything will be fine for u too.
work things out slowly,don't come to a decision so fast,instead just take time to observe the situation.
from what i see,u shouldn't give urself so much stress.
i know work is ur priority but u have to give urself a break,
ur mind is still at work when u are on a vacation,please,just listen to me can.

All in all,i really wish that things will get better and am really thankful that u guys are telling me these.
As a friend,i want to be there when u needed someone,always.
you guys are precious to me,really.
I'm just a phone call away,if u really know me u should realise that i'll push my things aside to accompany u when u need me to.
For some of u,don't just keep telling me stuff like ,"i wanted to tell u alot of things,but u seem busy,so i rather don't bother u with my shit."
end up i only know it centuries later.
please la,if u really treat me as a fren u shouldnt bother about all these,u will know that i'm always here.
fuck la uh?
machiam so near yet so far.
i'm busy doesn't mean u can't talk to me.
It's unfair to me that u come to a conclusion even before i can say anything.
GOOD FRENS MY ASS.don't be a cock i tell u.

my darlings,
I'm feeling upset too,over many things,and i hope we'll just pull through these hard times ok.

p.s:i hope weiqi fully recover soon.
       Fish please pass me some ciggies.
       Mer,i must challenge u this week.
       HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH FOO. 

nights people, i miss ***
      

This is considered a late post to profess my love for Singapore.
But i still gotta write this entry.
I think it's the basic of a human to respect his/her country at least,so i pretty dislike people making fun of their own country.
I deem it as stupidity and ungrateful to ur own roots.
If you like to complain about Singapore and make fun of ur own country,
fine,nobody is stopping u to get out.



Singapore ,i love you!

• I'm really proud to have a pink IC
• also a red passport
• I'm glad to tell everybody i'm a Singaporean
• I like to haolian that i know exactly how to sing the national anthem
• i secretly love singing it since secondary school
• Grateful to LKY for building up this nation
• although i dislike him alot
• I love the democratic system and i'm looking forward to the day where i can vote
• for the opposition party
• Great set of laws we have
• to ensure the peace and stability of our nation
• We can't deny the ERP and taxes works though we hate it
• Drug free keeps our country cool and healthy
• Good police force we have
• although Mas selamat still got away
• I'm thankful for the religious freedom
• though my religion is criticized by a number of christians
• Thanks for having esplanade and orchard road
• Zouk mambo jambo and dbl o retro night
• Nice citizens despite some really throw face ones
• We have our very own trishaw uncles gracing the roads
• We have cool uncles and aunties selling $1 tissues
• Very singaporean Singapore bloggers
• Xiaxue
• and Mr brrrrrrrrrrrrrrown
• Free from natural disasters
• and corrupted officials (not exactly)

that's why ,
I LOVE YOU SINGAPORE !
and i'm definitely not migrating elsewhere ,
and will be staying put till death parts me from u.

I WANT A PARTNERRRRRRR








to join me at Lion Befrienders.

I've just received their reply and call .
The person can sense my enthusiasm at the other side of the phonecall:p
the requirements are easily met.
Just commit at least a day every week to do homevisiting ,
and the hours are flexible ,
just anytime before 8pm!

There will be an uncoming orientation for new members as follow:

Dear Karyn,

Thanks for your interest in volunteering with us. We would like to invite you to attend the Orientation before starting the Befriending Programme (Home visitation).

The Orientation detail is as shown below:

Course:    Lions Befrienders Orientation & Fundamental

    Date:    29 August 2009, Saturday

    Time:    2:00 PM – 5:30 PM

    Venue: Lions Befrienders Service Centre (AMK318)

Blk 318 Ang Mo Kio Ave 1 (Street 31)

    #01-1453

   Singapore 560318


INTERESTED PARTIES PLEASE DO NOTIFY ME ASAP OK ((:
I'll be so grateful!



ANYWAY,
tomorrow's the day . THE DAY!
Zouk mambo jambo (National day) party.
Dressed in red and white from head to toe and u will be granted free entry.
Otherwise,
$15 per entry(2 free drinks incld) for first 300 people before 10pm.
$25/$28 after. 

Speaking of which, my classmates mocked at me when i told them i go for mambo nights and i do the moves too.
Especially Nicholas and his gf ,worse still , Joseline and Alvan were laughing all the way .
Alvan laugh until damn loud ok and as if it's super funny.

GOOD, in HRM video i'm the clown,so now i'm the clown too la !


These photos were taken at least 1month ago at attica ~
With Girlfriend and Cheryl.

HRM LECTURE.
HAHAHHAHA


seriously speaking people has been commenting about me use this wretch blog.
i find nothing wrong with it,since it's the easiest to use.

blogspot.com

u have to do your own blogskin isn't ?
There's so many funny funny stuff to do in there.
The only time i used it was when i had a secret blog with girlfriend.
and i've no clue what was our blog url already!
i'm dying to know now,my heart itchy itchy.
I bet we used to write juicy secrets over there.

speaking of which,wretch is totally idiot proof.

when we were sharing the blogspot ,i had no idea how to do all the shit and gf did everything herself.

livejournal.com

the word journal reminds me of the journal we had to write during secondary school days.
totally turn off,so i wouldn't even try it out.boo.

friendsterblog

not to mention it,it's the worst blog to use.
as simple as ABC that's it. u will take years to upload pictures.
and there's a limit on how many pictures u can actually upload.
Or u can actually pay $5 monthly to post unlimited number of pictures.
dumb

So,i'm sticking to wretch,unless someone offers a better deal.

 
I was this radom during lecture,that i started 'tattooing' on my hands and legs.

Did i tell u that i'm doing my HRM video ?
HAHA. 
This is gonna be real COCK.
The video's on auditioning for gang leader.
And i'm th supposed winner of all the participants.
look out for the video soon ,
i'm uploading the cast photos first.

Okay,this is out of the topic, i took these 3 pictures because i was amazed that they sell all these there!
SUA KU LA CAN!
 

  

We walked quite a distance in search for a favourable spot at Arab street.
And finally we settle for this funny looking factory.
We borrowed tables and chairs from another shop without asking.

 
  
The evidence of borrowing.
 
ALISSA- HR MANAGER
 
ALVAN-RUNNER UP

MELVIN- NERD/COWARD
  
ME-THE GANG LEADER

NICHOLAS- GAY
 

the video's pretty entertaining. watch out for it soon.