March 15, 2010

Manic Depression 或只是想太多

WHAT THE FUXX, I just want to scream it out.
My mood has been up and down, just a while ago I was smiling but now I felt like shit.


煩死了~好多事情要做,可我什麼都不想deal with it.

明明我都是笑著,但真的有笑到眼裡嗎?
我很喜歡對朋友笑,因為我討厭他們不開心
可我自己呢? 我從何時開始不再對自己笑?

照片裡的我越來越fake,失去溫暖的笑,變成表面化卻失真了。
曾經的我討厭照像,因為以前的我只懂得對真人笑,所以照片捕捉到的僅是僵硬的表情

可笑的是,那時的臭臉卻是coming from my heart, nothing can be more real than that,真的發自內心的

現在呢? 我已經分不清楚我到底是為何而笑
笑的是事物還是自己?

微笑與嘲諷,好像都一個樣

我自己都覺得一切很荒唐,讀心理學的我,自己到為自己diagnose了


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