April 20, 2011

「大家都來吧!進到神的家中!與我們一同歡樂,一同享受!」

自從PA走了以後,我真的覺得自己被「生」出來了,這個新的「我」是如此的奇特,每一天都跟前一天有些不同,我好像真的不曾認識這個人…….

 

前幾天在禱告中,覺得自己是一個內在如此豐富、豐滿,又凡事豐足的人,但是我知道這一切都是神給我的,可是我卻不覺得自己像有些基督徒,會深深覺得自己被神從罪中釋放後,領悟自己的不配。反而只有很自在、很自然的享受現在恩典的感覺,好像這些本來就應該是我的,因此我問神:「我怎麼如此驕傲呀?」,主並沒有直接回答我的問題,卻讓我想到以前曾聽過的一個故事,那是有關一個領養很多小孩的美國家庭,故事中說剛剛來到這個家庭的成員,都會不太敢動手拿冰箱的食物,雖然養父母已經告訴這個新來的孩子,家裡的東西可以隨便吃,但是每次他想吃什麼都會先徵求同意,但是待其他已經在這個家中很久的孩子回來,很自然的開冰箱拿東西吃,很自在的坐在沙發上看電視,很自在的跟爸媽聊天,這個新來的孩子很吃驚,直到有一天他能像其他的孩子一般,隨便開冰箱、隨便走動,他才是真正將自己視為家中的成員。上帝讓我想到這些後,才告訴我現在的我正是像那些已經在領養家庭很久的小孩,終於覺得自己是家中成員。


March 4, 2011

「True Grit」

今天去看「True Grit」,因為大表哥一直說那是舊片新拍,有多好多好…… 所以趁著有時間,就去了。

 

電影一開始就嚇了我一跳,竟然又是柯恩兄弟以美國南方的人為主題的電影,聽著演員的南方口音,看著故事的發展,感覺好像PA又回到我們身邊,感覺PA一定會喜歡這部電影,可能還會邊看邊加旁白,Mandy這個充滿個性的女性,就是PA喜歡的那種人!他只要每次看見女生有tenacity,就會非常高興!True Grit」像是Cold Mountain Oh, Brother, Where Are Thou? 的合體,其實看完有點心酸,因為想念Papa!不過我知道天上有許多有tenacity的女性,PA會非常景仰他們!像Grandma Braun應該就是其一!


March 3, 2011

Diary 2011-3-3 W4 信心的歷程

在信仰的過程中,有的時候,上帝會挑戰我們對他信賴的程度,就像他挑戰他的12個門徒,要他們在什麼都沒有的情況下,以五餅二魚和七餅餵飽5000人和4000人一樣。但是依靠我們對他的認識,在挑戰我們理智的環境中,我們用情感和信心宣告上帝的權柄,在屬靈的環境中,事情就有了變化!上帝創世的大能重新被啟動,不可能的事,變為可能!因此疾病要得醫治,死人要被復活,因為罪都能被赦免!其他的一切就能重來!!只是有時候,人自以為聰明,替上帝決定他想做什麼!因為人的心是小的,能力也是微不足道的。但是,這卻不能改變神想賜福與人的心意……

 

十多年前,我有一個學生出車禍,一個腎臟碎掉,一個腎臟破裂,醫生要給她動手術,取出那個碎掉的,縫合那個破掉的,並且要休息一年不能跳舞。我聽說了,非常心痛,因為,那代表她可能再也不會回學校了,因此,我邀集了另外兩位基督徒,我們為她禁食禱告三天,那三天我真的像是拉著上帝的手,央求他一定要醫治她,但當時我不明白的是,上帝本來就想醫治她。


January 5, 2011

Diary 2011-1-5 分別善惡樹上的果子

上帝創造人類的時候,告訴人不要吃分別善惡樹上的果子,因為吃的那日人就必定會死(for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die. Gen.2:17),但蛇卻告訴人說:「你們不一定死,因為神知道你們吃的日子眼睛就明亮了,你們便如神能知道善惡。」

Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die.  For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”- Gen. 3:4,5

 


November 15, 2010

Diary 2010-11-15 W1 I became a different person.

Praise God for what He had done for me!!! Yesterday, on my way to the church, God said to me,"Do you want to be like Me?" I sheepishly said, "Of course. But, Lord, You know what I am made of. I am afraid I won't be able to make it." He didn’t comment on what I said. He just asked me the 2nd time,” Do you want to be like Me?" I said, “Yes, yes!” The end of the conversation. When we started the praise and worship before the service, I felt something different. Tears streaming down my face. I just felt so moved emotionally, not by lyrics, not by melody. I was simply moved. On my way home, I thought about something from the past. I knew the old me. If the old me felt that, the old me would feel sad. But, I was different since God talked to me yesterday morning. The new me thought about the past, and felt nothing! Like the Bible said about Job11:16, “Because you would forget your misery, And remember it as waters that have passed away.” Since then, I knew I became a different person! God had helped me. I didn’t work for the change. My God did it for me! Praise His name!!!!! In Jesus name, AMEN!!!!!!

 


November 13, 2010

An Encounter with God in New York

Last night, I was at my mom’s. She mentioned about something I almost forgot! Had to write this down! I believe it is not a coinsidence when my mom mentioned this. It is something God doesn’t want me to forget!

 

13 years ago, I was in my low point in ministry, frustrated and hurt. I went to New York to study American theater dance in a workshop, and gave myself some time off from the ministry to cool off my mind. During that time, I met a lady at the post office in that area. We never really talked. But, since I had to pass her booth quite often, we kind of knew each other’s existence. On the last day in the workshop, when on my way to return some books I borrowed from the library, I saw this lady standing outside under trees with funny gestures, which was looking upward and scared. That kind of way of moving caught my eye. So, I went up to her and asked if everything was alright. She said there was a news release telling that raccoons in that area had rabies. They would jump off the trees to bite people. She was concerned that without caution raccoons might attack her while waiting for her sister to pick her up. Then, we started our real conversation….


October 2, 2010

日記 – 與死亡面對面 2010-10-1 W5

媽媽又病了,發高燒,又沒有胃口!

媽媽94歲了,她不可能永遠不離開我,但是我真是痛恨死亡的氣息呀!!!

上帝造人的時候,沒有死亡的存在,但是罪發生之後,罪就進入了人的DNA,自此,再也沒有人能擺脫死亡的陰影,真是討厭!


July 1, 2010

日記-「世界向我變了顏色」 Diary 2010-7-1

這是13年前,我將自己17年半前的痛苦經驗寫下的日記,13年前,當我動筆寫下這記憶時,我的心已經被上帝的愛與能力醫治,最近,因為進行一些創作,又將以前的稿件翻出,才想到多年前的這件事,這再次提醒我,現在的我之所以能如此快樂,是因為上帝醫治了我,我也感謝神,他曾讓我經歷這些痛苦,所以我能懂得別人的苦。

---------------------------------------------------

世界向我變了顏色,


June 14, 2010

Diary 2010-6-14 W1

Although the Father sent the Son, and the Son could truly say ’I do always those things which the Father does’, there was one thing He did the Father did not do – PRAY! However faithfully we devote ourselves to God, prayer and intercession remains a necessity. The world MUST be prayed for. It is part of the job! It is as much the work of God for us as it was for Christ in His work. The work and the will of God can only be carried out by intercessors. People who work but never intercede don’t so much walk along with God as limp along with God. REINHARD BONNKE

 

所以「做工」與「禱告」,是我們的左右腿,缺一不可,缺一就是瘸子。


June 5, 2010

盧老大的武功課

五專畢業後,在插班文大舞蹈系之前,我就已經聽說盧志明(外號盧老大)的武功課有多麼恐怖,一大堆人受傷不說,他還完全不講情面,我聽了他的偉大事蹟,已經先嚇死一半了!另外一半則是在上課的過程中完成的。插班考放榜確定錄取以後,我媽媽很怕我開學後跟不上盧老大的課,暑假時,就打聽到他在舞蹈教室的開課時間與地點,馬上叫我去上課了!

 

武功課,其實是我的最不愛,那種身體訓練方法和表演的動作過程與美感,都無法讓我的身體與感覺喜歡它,但是為了要畢業,好出國唸書,唸我喜歡的東西,我想凡事都有個『Price to pay』,我把武功課當成是我的『Price to payfor 畢業,因此我決定該科一定要及格,但是盧老大的課實在太恐怖,拿鼎要一分鐘才過、朝天蹬要先站一分鐘,再接著做三起三落和翻身、射雁等,我真的快被嚇死,當時盧老大看了我的條件,就做了個結論:「你是鐵板腰、回籠腿,這是祖師爺不賞飯吃!」


May 30, 2010

「自重」的專業,「尊重他人」的倫理

--by Teresa Tang

記得以前跳舞,只是因為對舞蹈簡單的熱愛,但是在雲門還沒出現的年代中,「舞者」幾乎同等於情色業者,不知在那種16歲的年紀中,自己是怎麼走過來的,當時音樂科的同學背地裡稱我們是「舞女」,當時學校行政人員在一開始,也對我們有很深的歧視,但是我只覺得我要堅持內心深處的外顯,反正日久見人心。第一年就這麼過去了,但是只消一年,短短的一年,你的表現,真的就可以改變別人的成見,而那時候的我,只有16歲!差不多同時的「渡海」演出後,雲門真正為舞蹈界帶來全面更新的社會觀感,我覺得非常感謝上帝,我不需要出了社會,再為社會形象打拼,已經有別人奠了基礎了,但是我也經過自己第一年在學校的努力,知道這種前人種樹後人乘涼的「傳統」,是要被保護與珍惜的!

 


May 20, 2010

天父給孩子的一封信

網路上看見的一封信,非常非常喜歡,所以轉PO過來。
轉自潘碩碩的部落格:http://www.wretch.cc/blog/gato950212/8747403


May 19, 2010

Diary 2010-5-19 W3

Years ago~~

God: If I want to give you to someone who will train you for me, will you do that?

I: But I am a One Man(God’s) horse.


May 4, 2010

Diary-- A Prayer 2010-5-4 W2

Lord,

You are the Lord of all hosts.

You are the Loving One Who is faithful and merciful.


April 15, 2010

祝福,再祝福:給我們班的同學

雖然班上同學人數很少,但是,小而美,外加靈活,會是我們班的特質。因此,不要看著別人的大型表演而洩氣,要用你們的創意,利用你們的時間,去多學新東西,讓畢展成為一個精美的小品,別忘了!一人份的萬元大餐有人吃,杯子蛋糕照樣可以熱賣到要開連鎖店!因此想想「影像舞蹈」,想想「跨領域創作」,看看學姐學長人數不多,卻非常成功的作品,看看你們的特長在哪裡?看看身邊多媒所的同學,看看JUMP的創意,看看MOMIX的「腦波」,看看「水舞」的照片,或許你們會發現奇妙又自由的創意!



unlog_NVPO 0