Jokes aside.
Sometimes, when you place all your trust on someone yet that person doesn't reciprocate your feelings back, it feels like the world's crumbling down on you. I've started to understand the harshness of the world. The reality is that nobody's going to wait for you. You just have to get going despite all that is happening around you.
Trust is like a mirror, it is that fragile. Handle with utmost care and you may be able to find that it would be able to reflect your inner self the best. I've heard of stories, of people, both good and nasty ones. Indeed, a particular event may have happened, but how people interprete and judge the intentions would be the most important. The action that had been taken may be consequential and seemed undesirable, but we can't always view things from that particular perspective. To me, I'd rather trust that the person that I'd known MYSELF wouldn't be doing actions that others interpreted as 'undesirable'. I would rather trust the person than to question his integrity just simply cos of this minor action. Naive, I know.
Many would tell me that I'm too naive for my own sake. Because anyone, and everyone can put up a show and present themselves in the most positive way.(Who would present themselves as nasty and cunning, anyway?) I once had been too overly-protective of myself. I'm wary of people. In fact, so wary that I hurt these people whom I loved dearly, indirectly.
I came to understand that no matter what you do, you'd hurt people's feelings. Generally, I try to please everyone. Not because I'm a two-faced bitch, but because that's the way things work. It's never possible to steer clear of other's paths, simply because, the world is so small. And once, somebody told me that I'd hurt myself easily by always being too nice to others. I do agree on this, but this doesn't mean that I should give a little lesser to anybody else.
Nobody in this world would be so pleasant and not hurt you. Truth is, everyone is going to hurt you, in some way or other. You just have to keep trying to heal yourself and be back on your feet, fast. I'm not saying that my self-healing skills are on the top of the world. Afterall, I'm made of flesh and blood and I still do get injured by nasty comments. The thing is, I try not to get too overly affected or upset by these comments. I would totally prefer to move on and not dwell on such unhappy events.
I'm not strong, I really ain't. It's just that I've finally woken up to my senses. And that I know that everything comes from within.
Reality has taught me that no matter what happens, time is still going to tick past you like a bitch and you only have yourself at the end of the day. But I'm fortunate enough,knowing that as long as I look back and cry for help, I'd have a few best friends running towards me, giving me a push. I am me. I am Olivia. I am Shu Hui.
And I have nothing.
But I feel contented enough to be me.
Love,
Shu Hui

Sealed (Feb 5)