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I'm back here after days and months of suffer
Suffer? Why did I use suffer?
Felt lonely. Frightened.
Feeling insecure.
A relative of mine passed away and I start to think: the elders are growing old eventually, aren't they?
It's actually a sad fact to face. I've been young and never been through the pain of people close to me leaving for good.
I've grown up too.
When I try to recall my toddler, teenager and all those times I'm still me, I tend to fall right down finding streams of tears rolling down my face.
The surrounding has made a great change to me. It's good actually.... I'm not that rough, not that mischievous not that talkative and not hyperactive anymore.
At least that's what I feel now. However, I know deep down in my spirit, I do have the chance of relieving those unwanted personalities. I talk non stop beside my mum. I tend to turn up my volume when I talk. It's humiliating .
Why did I make myself self-reflect?
I actually care what people think of me. I tried to ignore that fact but who doesn't choose that way of living. When you don't make yourself look okay (at least you should feel okay about yourself) how are you going to face the fact that no one bothers to ask you out for dinner?
Come on! That's whathow this society is, right?
You can actually count the amount of real good ones who doesn't look at the outside but the inside with one hand.
Too fat too thin too tall too short too much freckles too much pimples too rich too poor too many toos to count.
That's life
Okay, I think I'm been too pessimistic huh?
Duh. Just trying to pour my feelings out.
I needed a siesta.
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