first love
Grass, he is my first love, we met online, then hang out together.
A computer major student, not deep enough in thought but he is delegent, honest.
I have no idea why i like him, but deep in my heart, i have strong affection for him.
I can feel his love too. We slept together, but nothing happened. He is a gentleman.
The day after that night, we are going to say goodbye cuz we need to chase for our future after graduation.
We need to seperate with each in different places. Some of my friends ask me, " why can you stay with him after graduation? If you do love him. "
A very good question, and i couldnt find any excuses, cuz i hv my own dream.
The scene is in front of my eyes till today,
I standed in one side of the channel, say goodbye to him, he drived away to another end of the channel.
I turn around with tears, go to the supermarket. I wish i could see him again. But we didnt.
He called me that night, and according to our converstation before we say goodbye to each,
i understand his meaning, i realize the different situation & background btw us.
He is interferious, for.............
I explained to him, i wont care about that if there is love btw two people.
I will be strong enough to cover it i believe. But he escaped in the end. I know we could not face the real ourselves in our hearts.
Love is everything, it just exists in the fairy story. There is so much things we need to face in our real l ife.
Now i stand in the same side as Grass, i felt what he felt inside his heart 4 years' ago. I chose to escape too.
When the chance come along with me, i evaluate it, then make a decision. I do the same thing as Grass.
All i can do now is to make myself more stronger, be more competitive, all these strong hard work are all out of my fear in the bottom of heart.
I understand what is love (you may not agree), caring, generousity btw two people, support no matter it's gud or not,
but as you know, it's not easy to establish a relationship for years. No one belongs each other, and no one is the other's proprity.
We are all human being, with flesh and bones, hot blood, with the temperature, we could feel each,
see into each's heart. We rely on each other, solve the problem together, experience neither the good time nor the bad.
If there is one thing i can say, the right person, right place and good timing is the key points.
My first love, we met in bad timing, wrong place. but the right person. While he left me the best pure memory in my life. That's why i want to share it.
