一个夏天男孩的秋天纪。ramblings of mine.

Wretch is really wretched by not allowing users to embed music. And so, I am moving my blog to Tumblr. 

judsontsj.tumblr.com

Alright, why am I suddenly talking about soiling the pants? Well, because
I saw someone did just that today in school. Like most of us, my very first
reaction was to throw a few weird glances at the poor guy. His berms were
stained with, well, human feces. As much as I felt it funny, I managed to
stop whatever cynical thoughts I had about that guy's bowel habits. Why?
Simply because I soiled my pants not too long ago :P

Oh come on ! Don't tell me you have not soiled your pants before! Unless
your rectum is completely seal proof all the time, everyone of us must
have encountered times when shit threatens to destroy our social dignity by
forcing its way into the underwear as we struggle to 'keep it tight' and
make our way to the toilet at the speed of light. Now, this really depends
on your skill to 'control & fly'. Most of the time, we succeed. But sometimes,
we just hate the fact that humans shit, no? Haha.

So when was the last time you soiled your pants? Mine was about 2 years ago.
Let me tell you, thank goodness it was summer vacation when that happened.
The school was virtually empty and I strongly believe no one saw what went on.
Nevertheless, I was embarassed and proud of myself at the same time. Embarrased
because the act of soiling the pants violates the unwritten social rule of
being cleanly scrubbed and wearing clean clothes in the public. Proud of
myself because I knew how to handle these kinds of situation.

Believe me, some people would just sit in the toilet bowl and curse and cry
heavens when they accidentally shit in their pants and hope their pants
will automatically clean themselves. Well, that's not going to happen!

What I did:

1) Clear the bowels, of course.
2) Discard the undies by wrapping it tightly with tons of toilet paper.
3) Try to get rid of the 'soil' by wiping at it vigourously with more
toilet paper.
4) Head to the swimming pool.
5) Put water and soap on the affected areas (I can't do this before reaching
the swimming pool, 'cause with the berms wet, people will think I pissed
in my pants as well, making things worse.
6) Put on my swimming trunks and head for a swim, leaving my berms to dry
in the sun.
7) An hour later, my berms' good as new.

The moral of the story :

a) Clear your bowels before you head out. Do this by drinking one full glass
of water first thing when you wake up. The water will force air in your
alimentary canal down, increasing the pressure in your large intestine.
Your dietary waste will be naturally forced out.

b) Bring along another set of clothes anywhere you go, just in case. If you
think that's troublesome, then just bring along your swimming gear and do
what I did as above.

I can't believe I am writing this here. But whatever, the human body ain't
perfect. So let's all stop pretending to be clean about it. Tsk.

Yes my readers. It has been months since this blog breathed something new.
And now the wait is over ! First of all, thank you guys for constantly
coming back for updates, even though there has been none. 各位，小弟对不起你们！
I will not promise that I will constantly update from now on, because I can
forsee myself being busy all the way till the end of the year. But I'll try =)

A big thank you to all of you out there who remembered my birthday yesterday.
Like what I wrote on my Facebook, birthdays should be annual reminders of
people's treasured existence on Earth. Nothing comes more true than that.
I believe when we were younger, material satisfactions easily came with our
birthdays, right ? But I guess as we grow older, it is the fact that your
friends remember your most important day that matters. 朋友记得住我们的生日对
我们来说是一种精神上的快乐和满足感。

Of course, remembering birthdays is a mere unofficial gauge of the strength
of the friendships you forge with others and shouldn't really affect your
relationships with those who don't remember. But honestly speaking, being an
opinionated person, I tend to treat those who remember my birthday better
than those who don't. But nah, like I said, it's just a rough gauge. But for
those reading this and have not yet wished me happy birthday, just so you
know....

Kidding. 开玩笑的啦。

The last time I updated this thing was in April. Since then, I was freaking
busy with exams. Speaking of which, urgh, I dropped for the first time. But
I can only blame myself for it, for diverting too much energy away from
studies to people not worth that amount of time. I think I can only be
optimal when I am single and free. At least when it comes to studies. But
anyway, being carefree is the element of Geminis, so nothing wrong with that
anyway.

Honors year is coming and according to Julius, it's easier to score than the
past academic years, because there is no bell curve for such a small cohort.
Wow, that means my CAP is essentially sealed and it can only go up. But I
will still need to work hard and push it up till at least a 3.7 something.
No thesis never mind, but must graduate with a 3.7 something at least. Maybe
I like numbers in that range, haha.

Radio wise...it's been good and bad I guess. The bad part is Kelly did not
renew her contract and now I am left alone to do the show. The good part is
listeners and boss have been giving positive reviews so far, and that makes
me uber happy x 1000. I think I am getting the hang of it and my show shall
only become better: more informative and entertaining. If you are my listener,
watch out for late July or early August =)

Currently busy with Shine 2009. Been coordinating with National Youth Council
and various performers on a huge event on 27th June 2009 Saturday. More
details will come, as soon as we settle the logistical night mare troubling
all of us right now.

Man, I am hungry. But fret not ! There are lotsa stuff to eat around the
radio station. I shall now go for my Large Milk Tea and Botak Jones =D
Today is the day for decadent food !

Check out the new song by Xiao He Shuo and Wu Jia Hui that's playing now.
Unless of course, you stopped it from playing...but why would you want to
do that? This song gives me the "SUMMER-IS-HERE!!!!!" kind of feeling...so
TURN IT BACK ON YOU DIMWIT!

Laters!

Life has been really good for me since the last time I wrote something here.
The reason for my long absence here is not because my 元气 was being depleted
by the shock of separation (actually, there wasn't any). It was more of the
pressing deadlines I had with my mid term tests and my essays and stuff. And
now, with all things cleared, I am three weeks away from exams, before my 3
month summer vacation kicks in . Woo Hoo ! So it is only appropriate that I
use this temporal down time to update you guys about myself, before I start
getting lost among my notes very soon =D

So what have I been doing ? Let's see, the last time I was extremely content
with life was yesterday, when I was eating my chocolate fudge ice cream from
Pukka beside a bunch of cute dogs at a pet shop just beside my school. The
rain was pouring in the late Sunday afternoon and with oldies playing in the
background, life felt so good man~. Not to mention with Kee Onn and Ming Ming
as company, perfect.

Talking about friends, you know, I am really a blessed person. Yes, I know
I look fierce and seriously, I will always say "That's just me, now DEAL WITH
IT!". But things always work in ways such that I receive more and more warmth
from existing and new friends each time something unpleasant happens to me.
And the best part is that I did not even do anything to garner such support
from these beautiful souls. Thank you guys =)

I have also started picking up rugby. Thanks to Kee Onn, this sport is really
physically demanding. But that's precisely why I like it so much. Sports that
are docile fail to excite me.So I figure rugby might just very well stay in
my life for time to come.

What else? I am just basically very at peace with myself most of the time.
Happiness is not required, but a welcome bonus. And it seems that I have been
given this bonus very frequently in the past month. So it's great!

On this note, I will like to highlight something:

Feelings can grow, but they can go away too. And by now, my feelings are gone.
Now the question here is not to determine whether feelings should be
everlasting or not, because everything is transient. Rather, we should ask
ourselves WHY the feelings went away. Was it a self-imposed death? Or was it
because the other party did not do enough to maintain this feeling and
therefore, INEVITABLY, the feelings died an unnatural death? For me, I am
very certain it belongs to the latter.

I really amuses me when immature people suddenly talk about the concept of
maturity, as if their age warrants them to do so. Truly matured people can't
really be bothered to debate how matured they are compared to the younger
counterparts. The best part is, that piece on maturity was actually an idea
taken from the best friend's blog. Talk about originality man. Tsk.

If you are really mature, you would not have started this whole thing. So
much for "...subconsciously...I realize that I am not ...". Please, why is
everything so subconscious? As if you don't have a conscience?

Haha. You knew you screw up big time. But your massive ego simply refuses to
acknowledge it. And now there you go, going round and round in circles
telling people "OMG! I am hurt once again! Pathetic me!".

Get a life, please.

And oh, I can forsee that there will be more rounds to come. But in the
event that there aren't, it's not really because you can't be bothered. You
are VERY BOTHERED by it. No, it's because you know that the more you write,
the more people are going to get bored by it and at the end of the day, when
everyone has moved on, you are the only one left to pick yourself up.

So stop acting like a child.

I am MOVING ON ~

Alrights ! Back to my happy life again =D

I heard 石欣卉 sing this song at 新加坡E乐大赏 last Saturday. Wonderful live
performance. Wonderful song. The only thing that isn't wonderful is that the song title
has now become my 主题.

It's over.

Yes, it is. Not the best thing in the world, neither is this the best feeling in the world,
neither is this the outcome I thought would take place between us. But now that is has
happen, 我也无能为力。

I pride myself in being sincere and honest throughout this whole process. At least,
there is no guilt about anything done wrong or whatever. It just isn't the right time for it.

Looking back at my past 3 relationships (well strictly speaking, only the first one should
be considered as a relationship. The second one wasn't even dating. It was hell and it
was one-sided. I think I would have been happier dating a dummy), I am very sure I had
put in all my effort and strength in maintaining the relation and interaction.
我感到自豪我是这样的一个人。K, you should take heart that you are such a person too.
Just that this time round, you were not capable of being fully such a person,
no matter how hard you tried.

There will be many times in life when we tried very hard to achieve something. After all,
our society works like any capitalist society: work hard and you shall thrive. This attitude
has been so much ingrained in our psyche that we think that virtually anything can be
achieved through hard work. Unfortunately, this is not true. This ideology of working
hard so that you get can it only applies to material wants.

Work hard and you will get that degree. Work hard and you will get that car. Work hard
and you will get the huge paycheck.

Yet it is not always the case that you get to befriend someone you wanna be friends
with if you work hard at appearing right in front of him/her all the time. Yet it is not
always the case that you get to live healthily without any dieseases even if you exercise
and go on an organice diet(Iknew of three people as such and they all died of cancer,
before they turned 40).

So much true it is when applied to getting the person you like/love to share you life.
It just doesnt work that way. Of course, we should all work hard in MAINTAINING the
interaction and the level of care and concern for each other. We should, no doubt.
But when it doesn't happen, it just will not happen.

Sounds familiar huh? Refer back to my earlier entry “随缘”to get the full idea. Some of
my friends will still read that entry whenever they needed some inspiration and relief
from having too much attachment to issues they should have just let go. Same goes for me.

人是不能控制一切的。真得不能，也不可能。It is impossible because when everyone tries to
control everything, then you are being controlled on one hand, while you control others
on the other. Actually, that's how this world works now: power and inequality. And that's
why this world is so screwed, by my egalitarian standards of course.

Whenver we hear phrases like 无能为力，we think of it with negative undertones.
Somehow, this time round, it actually calms me down.

做了一切，对自己也有了个交待，之后会发生什么事，我也无能为力了。

挣扎了那么久，也累了吧，顺杰？就随缘吧。。。

I seriously wish that things will restart again when you are ready. We shall still talk
and go out and stuff, but anything more than that, 就看你的了。

随缘吧。

Thank you: Ling, 大哥，Khoon, Tiffanie, Ming Ming, KeeOnn and Natalie.

*Sang this song last night at Steph's bday party. How apt for this point of my life now.

同花顺

词：小寒 曲：Jim林倛玉

要是你心里真的没我
你不会剪去了长发
闪动如蝴蝶在双颊 那是眼泪吗

要是你心里真的有我
你不会嘴边无火花
静静观察 人世浮华 心已麻


假如说钢铁磨成针 只要愿意等
只要肯爱得深
是不是就有这可能
有可能打动这铁石心肠的人


可惜就算梦能成真 有谁猜得准
能分到多少福份
生命的同花顺 底牌没有你
我也认


假如说温柔是谎话
你不会颠覆这想法
你撑着眼儿都不眨 是眼泪吗


假如说你真的放得下
你怎会一言也不发
漂泊天涯 苦苦挣扎 心已麻