her heart. her thoughts.
today we joined dear jessica for dinner.
probably one of the last dinners we have together, all together
before one of us flies off to the "big land" lol. jk.
we, supposedly, the closest of friends. we'd tell each other secrets.
best of friends. we'd share anything and everything.
however, not all secrets are to be shared
not all things should pass through one another
not everything you hear is true
not every word spoken should be heard.
it was really really fun spending time with each other
but,
when you ask me how well do you know this person?
i seriously can't tell you all the secrets each person has
i seriously can't say how well i know each and every one of these kids.
i probably can't even tell you what their favourite colour is.... scary thought isn't it.
but today i learnt something new today.
we step on each other's landmines so easily that sometimes we don't even notice it.
but a person that has the ability to hold in it the longest, wins??
i must say,
you'd probably win
if it were me, i'd probably blow up at everyone and then regret it after because when i get over it
i realize how scared people are of me. and then... you know how i neeeeeeed people to care for me...
it just gets awkward.
as these years have passed.
i've learnt to hold it in.
but
when it comes to family
i fail
miserably
maybe one day i'll become someone with bearing; poise; manner; demeanor; presence ...
as we say in chinese 風度 i'm not sure what the exact word i should use here.
well maybe one day
when i'm older.
just maybe.
Sealed (Feb 3)