Heaven's my home

hello all. i wonder if there's still anyone reading my blog but whatever, i'm still gonna do updates as and when i feel like it.

currently i'm very into twitter. tweeting's the new internet language yo! haha. :D its fun! because you don't have to type a lot, like 1 whole post, but just tweet as and when you feel like it. for me, i tweet the moment i get out of bed. i tweet when i'm out and feeling all bored. i tweet when i feel like ranting. i tweet when i feel like commenting on my friends' tweets. basically i tweet for the fun of tweeting! and i tweet because i'm a full time stalker. i stalk those korean celebrities' tweets. but i really don't know who's accounts' authentic and who's not. i don't bother. i stalk for the fun of it. :P

wrong.

i'm an emotional being. :D

freaking tired after tuition. am sososososo glad that the weekends are finally hereeeee! :D

very lazy to blog ever since i set up a twitter account. tweeting's so much easier and i love stalking people. found out that so many people tweet and yes, even those korean celebrities try damn hard to tweet in ang moh too. so interesting.

(: sounds like i'm gonna be typing a happy post. very true! i'm feeling good, joy and peace flooding my heart and seeping into my veins and yeahyeahyeah, nothing much, i'm just feeling this shalom "uhhhhhh" kinda feel within. SO GOOOOOOD.

okay the past week's been bad. real bad. i fell sick on wednesday right after i got back from the library. papa said CC must have been sick and his sick germs got hold of me. but the thing was CC's completely well and all so i don't really know where did my "virus infection" come from. oh well, i haven't been this sickly for the past 3 years (thank God of course for good health :D) and so i felt like my body was gonna break apart and the fever was gonna burn my brain and leave me with a dead brain. like whatever. i felt reallyreallyreally awful.

felt so good after service today. totally r.e.f.r.e.s.h.e.d. experienced that kinda joy and peace the moment i stepped out of church. and i know i'm gonna bring this joy and peace with me and this upcoming week's gonna be a very resftul one. shalom.

if the world throws bananas at me, i'll eat all of them. haha okay just some brainless analogy. i'm trying to say that i don't really care what the world throws at me (in particular, what assignments the lecturers' gonna throw at me), i'm just gonna take them all and of course trust that the good Lord will keep me safe under the shadow of His wings. and more than anything else, i'm favoured, blessed and loved by Him, so really, what is there to be afraid of?

she drives people crazy. she seriously do. and i wonder why is she making life difficult for herself and for others? i hate to stay home with her around. how to manage? have to manage my grandma already, isnt it enough? maturity comes with age? please, it doesnt. she's behaving like a 7 year old kid who needs a lot of attention, who feels that life is unfair to her and somebody needs to stand up for her. and she wants things her way, living with her can be such a nightmare really. i don't know what to say or behave around her. i can't be myself actually.

so tired to be staying home on a saturday, trying to make peace. you know what, the ultimate peacemaker isnt me, but DaddyGod. let not my heart be troubled. i've got too much things on my mind lately and some people just have to make it even more complicated. i retreated back to my room because i don't wanna witness a fight going on. now i know how exactly it feels for kids who grew up in a broken family. totally, frightening. i can't wait for my parents and my sister to be back. and i promise NEVER to stay home when she's around.

and i don't really know why. i'm feeling as if i'm slipping into depression and its seriously time to watch out.

definitely has to do with school and the work load that's coming in. and i don't know why but i'm feeling super restless. not ready to start work, only ready to just sit in front of the tv and watch my favourite korean dramas or variety shows. i know i'm mad crazy and i'm just procastinating but whatever. i haven't switched back to the study mode yet. HOW! HELP ME PLEASE DADDYGOD!

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,

i'm all ready for school! i know i am. service was awesomeeeee. it got me ready for school, like totally. its gonna be a great semester yet. i'm blessed and too blessed to be stressed. :D

anyways, just a short testimony to share. (something i haven't shared before) i used to be someone real tensed up and kanchiong if you know what i mean. i think i might suffer from some anxiety disorders or whatever you call that. i have really tensed up shoulders, such that even if i'm seated down, my shoulders will scrunch up and this is something i do subconsciously. and also, my fists will be clenched up too. its as though i'm ready to "take flight" anytime. and when i actually found out about it, i told God that this isn't a good sign. i need to get rid of them, but of course i cant do it based on my own efforts so i just raised this issue to God and thats about it. each time when i realised i'm scrunching my shoulders or clenching my fists i would remind myself to relax. but after sometime, i kinda forgot about it. until today, during service whilst pastor was still preaching, i suddenly felt like "hey check out your shoulders and fists. they are relaxed aren't they?" true enough they were. i believed this is the result of really entering into the rest of DaddyGod. so awesome. and woohoooooo a good start to a brand new year indeed.

"You make me calm
With you I’m safe from harm
And right by your side

sometimes i just don't like the stuff you had to say to me. but i had to listen and nod my head in agreement. i hate to argue with you, about how faithless you are, about how pessimistic you are. and i really wanna show you how beautiful life is. but you refused to hear me out. you think you're right. you're right to accept what the doctors have to say about your health. about what others have to say about you. and when i suggested that you go for a full body check up to determine whats the root of all problems, you had to say no. just because you're afraid of the results, just because you wanna save all the hassle. this is health you're talking about. you can have all the money in the world. but that doesn't make you a happy person. wouldn't it be more restful for you if you'd agreed to go for a check up and trust that DaddyGod will make all things work for your good? hey you, faithless child of God, even if you've faith as small as a mustard seed, DaddyGod still can move mountains with that little faith of yours.

i don't know what else to say to you. i felt so damn affected. you know you're so important to me, and yet you had to hurt me with those words that came out of your darn mouth. sometimes i really hope i can knock some sense into you, how can someone so beloved to me be so cruel to me all at the same time? you asked me to grow up, you said i'm gullible. whatever.

whats up whats up! (: been busy with resting lately. gotta get all charged up for school next week. i still cant believe it, school's starting in just less than a week's time? oh gosh. the holidays' been so short! i haven't gotta maximise and enjoy the break. and i've gotta gear myself up for yet another hell-liked semester. eh no, i should be optimistic from the start, heaven-liked semester i mean.

okays, so i'm just gonna update a little on what i've been doing since i got back from korea.

just a side note, i stayed home to rest the whole of today, and i was watching some korea music festival (SBS gayo daejun) on youtube. was so impressed by the whole "music concert" put up by the hottest kpop celebrities. they were really good. the guys imitating the dance moves of the popular girl bands and vice versa. they're like so damn talented, and they cross-dressed. sheesh. and 2pm actually did a parody of you're beautiful. so frigging funny and entertaining. something different about this music festival, when 1 group's singing, the camera will zoom in on the other bands watching the performances, swaying and singing along. it looked as if they were all having tons of fun.

okay, so back to my blog entry. uh huh. its nearing the end of 2009. this year's been a year filled with DaddyGod's grace and favour. somehow i felt this year's so easy, because i'm more and more conscious about His love for me. and that alone kept me safe and protected and at rest. still remembered what pastor prince shared at the end of year 2008, that year 2009's gonna be the dektos year of the Lord. and true enough, DaddyGod didn't disppoint me, He kept His word. sure, there were many ups and downs, but i crossed every hurdle knowing that He is with me. and of course there were prayers unanswered. but i believe God has got better plans for me. (: and i believe that year 2010 would definitely be a better year ahead. my days with DaddyGod can only get brighter and better.

yay yay yay! i'm back from snowy korea! (: it was snowing damn heavily yesterday and it was frigging cold. overall the trip was awesome! but i'm just glad to be home. korea's a great country, but i feel safer back in singapore. hahaha. more at ease, more familiar with the people, places here. alot to update about korea! but i shall keep my post short.

didn't do a lot of shopping though. mom's superb! she bought lotsa masks and beauty products from the face shop (its definitely much cheaper there) and we've to stock up for my sister too. i ended up not buying any for myself. how pathetic. but i did go shopping at dongdaemun. the place's huge i must say. the time given was really limited and the stuffs sold weren't cheap at all. so i didn't buy much i swear. oh but i think we got a lot of yummilicious korean food. like kimchi, i bought 5 packets (not for myself obviously), and a carton of kimchi instant noodles and lotsa snacks, small bites. so ya, we went there with 2 luggages, and came back with 5. pro isn't it?