August 16, 2010

**[字花]**

自那天起 寫不出半首詩
留下到處 一張張廢紙
是我筆尖 發現文筆太亂
零落破碎 一想起你便斷

*唯求用這首歌 唱出一種結束
如旋律內有雨 那就盡情哭
如文字會生花 也許明天會花開遍地
枯萎那個 無謂再目送

直到今天 寫一首最美的
旋律帶過 當天的記憶
為你寫歌 作別離的記認
文字抹去 今天的太任性

文字記載感情 無奈我已淍零
每字也是有關於你 我做過什麼

傷口會痛 無謂再亂碰

====================================

Melbourne Trip, 其中一個節目係睇我偶像Fiona 既concert, 佢有首新歌, 叫做字花. 佢有個sunrise同sunset versions, 一開頭聽佢個sunset version覺得好悶, 因為D arrangement 太dry, 得個guiter, 不過聽埋佢個intro of the song, 我覺得: our story is pretty similar.

以前既我, 好似佢咁, 有畫畫, 不過之前發生左一D事, 令我自己stop 個呢個interest. 我無fiona 咁extreme, 我唔係怕去paint, 我係無個心情去paint. 我painting 好睇mood, 無mood, 咩都做唔到, 我似我份thesis, 真係好危.

亦都係呢一年, 我變得瘋癲. 瘋=瘋狂, 癲=癲song. 接觸過好多野. 我問自己有無後悔. 後悔改變不了過去, 有發生過, 就係有發生過. 對自己失望嗎? 如果用"自欺欺人"呢個excuse, 我會同自己講, 都係learn from the mistakes.

直至呢一首歌既出現...

自那天起 寫不出半首詩
留下到處 一張張廢紙
是我筆尖 發現文筆太亂
零落破碎 一想起你便斷...................

我唔係咩詩人, 我不會寫文章, 不過自從個時開始, 我的確停左我個interest

有想重拾那份passion嗎? 有, 不過做唔到.

*唯求用這首歌 唱出一種結束
如旋律內有雨 那就盡情哭
如文字會生花 也許明天會花開遍地
枯萎那個 無謂再目送...........................

有想去terminate 呢個既relationship嗎? 有

難嗎? 難

做到嗎? 做不到

希望put an end on it, however......

記得有一期, 有3首歌我係好中意, which are: 你快樂嗎, 祝我生日快樂, 我要快樂.

全部都係同快樂有關既歌.

我聽歌, melody 同arrangement 係 1st and 2nd priorty, but for these songs, the lyrics are like..... hit my heart. especially for the song 祝我生日快樂. 上年我既生日係點過ga 呢? 亦都係我既唔甘心, 我先至而家個人仲係BNE. 如果唔係, 我應該一早就走左了.

呢首歌, 中到呢....

直到今天 寫一首最美的
旋律帶過 當天的記憶
為你寫歌 作別離的記認
文字抹去 今天的太任性.............................

今時今日, 已經將之前發生既事, 忘記了. 不過, 當接觸返有關既人同事, it recalls wht'd happened previously, i dun used to recall them, but it juz flows up from my mind.

用好多野去麻醉自己, 做得多, 反而記得仲多. 同自己講put an end on it, but is it tht easy?! For me, its not.

好多人見到我既一面, 係honey, sweet, happiness, joy, playful etc etc. are they fake?! nope, they are all real emotion. but thts 我只不過係會mask左我 depress既個一面 in front of others. i rarely express my true feeling in front of others. i have tried, but...... its a failure, its totally a failure. 自從個次, i blocked myself from the public, i built a wall and barrier against other ppl. At least to protect myself not to get hurt again.

我之後最親既人, 都有同我講, 我係一個 "迷". 我唔係唔想, 不過i found it didnt work, 反而令自己更hurt. 是對象錯了嗎? no matter 對象錯了or wht, its not really matter, 我都不會再做同樣既事了. 係我自己任性嗎? 係, 我願任性都不想再受傷害.

文字記載感情 無奈我已淍零
每字也是有關於你 我做過什麼...................................

我做過什麼, 為什麼

傷口會痛 無謂再亂碰.............

傷口會痛 無謂再亂碰; it defines all

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