October 30, 2009

2009 10 30

    I've worked for about three months, just passed the intern... . Honestly I'm not satisfied with my performance. I think I just don't know how to put myself into this new life style. I mean, on the one hand , I feel that I spent too less time on my work, there should be had more things waiting for me, but I just can't stay even one minute more after 8. And on the other hand, I still take part in two club in the university. I still want to have some extra activities other than the company and try to broaden my social circle... so, I don't want to  loss these entertainment---contradiction...
    Actually, I'm really proud that I can insist on something - like tennis, skating,  listening BBC radio, and go to book shop at least once a month. But sometimes I just can't help thinking that what's the point for me to insist on these? Do I really get some kind of improvement ? Or maybe in the deepest of my heart I want to caught somebody's eye or at least get somewhat acknowledgment-which only shows that I'm a selfish person...(OK, I know that I'm already confused here and maybe nobody knows what i"m talking about...)
    Anyway, I'm not pretty sure why I still fool around in skate club..., All left there is only memories, There almost nobody I familiar there-this fact really make me sad. I know this is unevitable,but....The happy times just gone with the wind..
..

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