elainethorpe.com - 我念故我在.

3 days of being a full-timer. i still cannot adjust my bed-time. why can't i go to bed at 10pm?! i really stay up late for no reason at all (for most of the time).

i guess, if my question is being answered, then i would sleep darn well every night!

you see, i wanna believe, but i don't know how true.

whatever. i'm so gonna force myself to sleep now. tomorrow will be a day of pure sitting in the office. alright, plan for the zoo trip. volunteers anyone? FREE TRIP TO THE ZOO! okokok. shall not let merzzz wait any longer. i really am spending lesser and lesser time with her these days. sigh.

一个人 眺望碧海和蓝天
在心里面 那抹灰就淡一些
海豚从眼前飞越
我看见了最阳光的笑脸
好时光都该被宝贝 因为有限

我学着不去担心得太远
不计画太多 反而能勇敢冒险
丰富地过每一天 快乐地看每一天
第一次遇见阴天遮住你侧脸

i think this is it. i'm a little beyond cure already. i cannot believe myself.

fine. whatever will be, will be.

anyway, starting from next monday, i will be an official 9-6er. yes, converting to become a full-time teacher. this means greater responsibilities, longer working hours, office politics? bleah. anyway, for more cards, for better future. =) i should really be glad i'm offered this chance/ opportunity.

so, i'm no longer the very free girl. although i'll try ways and means to be very free still. i realised after working for so long, what i treasure most is my freedom. no amount of money can buy my freedom! however, back to reality, it's time that i trade a little freedom for moolarhs so that when it's time to enjoy total freedom, i'm moolarh-mountained. HAHAHAHAHA!

hmm, as of up to now, i'm pretty pleased with iphone. i can text better already! i somehow regret getting n97. but oh well. i seriously don't understand why n97 is SOOOOO laggy. i really don't.

if there should be a reason why i'm still up at this hour and posting this stuff, i guess i know why.

the only thing i cannot comprehend is that why do we lose our courage, something that was like in-built at birth when we grow up. see, we had tonnes of courage simply because every new thing we try out, we fear, but we summon upon our courage to overcome the fear, to get to feel, and then accept, and thus become fearless to which. i guess this courage thingy is like a points system. the moment you use it, it deducts thru a giro kinda system. slowly, slowly, when you grow older, it gets lesser.

and this explains why my students can well become professional love letter writers and confess-ers, while this teacher here is still at point zero. LOL."咁大把年紀個啦, 仲玩緊暗戀?!"
 
well, it is not easy to meet someone who gives you "feel". that instantaenous moment of wanting to be with that someone so much. it's been awhile since i had that kinda feeling. not only that, but after the "feel" part, well, physically this someone has to be of passable standard to you at least.

the four lettered word LOVE is so easy to spell, yet hard to decipher. god bless me.

like the previous post, i've been busily going out to play. i know i should hold back somehow as it is not doing my health good but well, ok, i promise to stop already. my body will break down soon soon soon if i don't learn how to stop. =)

so, in any case, it was dinner-cum-ktv with a couple of charltoners. and yes, miss ling goh successfully "hid" that durian cake from me eyes. it was a great although anticipated yet not sure of surprise. HAHAHA. oh, if i was feeling better, i'd have gobbled the whole cake by myself! haven't had durian cake for ages larhs! haha.

the very next day, had dinner with amanda, then met up with peeps from holy high. back to blue blazze. and yes, "much thanks" to that glass of tequilla pop. i think that marked my that's it. haven't vomitted for like SOOO long can. and i never tried drinking till such a state ever. never hangover, never vomit. my health must be so down. talking about which, i have alot of people to thank. especially guo en for sending me back and ever-readily stand-by-ing tissue, winnie for accompanying me outside the pub whereby i started to just vomit and staying with me despite the disgusting scenes, amanda n that xiao mei mei waitress for their jackets. i felt sooo silly! yet again i have to claim that i wasn't drunk! really, i don't think drunkards can remember events that took place the day before. last night's happenings are still so vivid.

then, today being my actual day, wanted to go makan steamboat with ling n gang. but on second thoughts, having just "emptied" my stomach the night before, i better not. and since it was a reserve-for-family day kinda, headed to buangkok for crabs. WHAHAHA.! birthday girl gets two pincers! haha. oklarh, i think only my dad and i like to eat crabs in the family. my sis hates it like dunno what. she claims that crabs look disgusting, hideous, whatever. the pincers were superb BIG! hehehe.

great, i forgot my celebration with merzzz! i shall buy a cake tomorrow. =D 

i really have to thank god for showering me with much care. just earlier, a few hours ago, when i was about to "explode" due to certain issues, and needed so much to go out, amanda called me out for supper together with weiming. HAHAHA. although i did not "whine/rant" much, i was glad to enjoy their company and just throw all issues one side. woots!

anyway, i somehow can conclude that my issues often arise because i don't know what i want. i think i am too fickle minded, and i tend to think too much. for a long long time, i haven't had issues for that category. all thanks to raymond lam. but sad fact now lies that raymond lam is losing his powers. he is no longer affecting me. and that somehow sucks.

you know, we humans live for that bitsy of hope ya? and all along i tell myself to at least harbour some hope for raymond lam simply because we never know what happens! yet now i am totally ignoring that because of the new inserts in life. why should i make myself miserable - for nothing?! i am now experiencing extreme mood swings. i don't wanna know.

whatever the case. prata session was great except for the part on the TISSUE PRATA served. i have never in my life ordered a tissue prata that is served with condensed milk. and today, such a prata was served. ok, i am lazy to go into details. just avoid THOHIRAH prata shop at jalan kayu. NO GOOD.!

pool was fun. haha. i really depend on my luck alot to play slightly better in pool. HAHAHAHAHA. i simply love playing pool larh. although it's expensive, it's still, i mean, a sport. and one will not sweat but still exercise. i LIKE. =D

been super busy!

ever since hua er's wedding, the post-outing event whereby i got home at like 8am, followed by another week of mahjong and wii till 3am, and chilling out yesterday after dinner at changi village while i'm still SICK.

there's even more coming up. next week will be my 23rd year on earth. and i suppose i'll be out there again, only not knowing with who. i'm drained! lols.

i think i need to come up with or rather plan a some kinda momentum whereby i could hang out, relax and yes, stay healthy! health's been on the red these days. cough, flu, sore throat, fever. and i mc-ed on friday. bleah. i so did not want to.

well, i think i'll just get more rest during weekdays then. and yes, i spent half a gucci wallet earlier, on my hair! ok, $300 for a year and more, you do the maths, it's quite worth it. really. and yes, i've decided that i will want to buy the gucci wallet. it's sooooooo NICE can? bag can wait. and it's really somehow extravagant to spend like $990 on a BAG. fine. i'll just settle for the wallet. bag, we'll see how. hehe.

ok, the infamous ris low.

first, she is 19? you gotta be freaking kidding me right? she so damn look like 30 can? anyway, that aside. i care not at all about who's representing singapore for whatever miss world or any sort like that, as that is out of my radius to be bothered with anyway. i mean, they (whoever the winner is) are not gonna make a difference to me life yea?

so, i happened to come across a link of this chap's interview and i so wanna scream! how on earth did she even manage to get through the selections for miss singapore when she cannot even pronounce, and wait, it's not only about pronounciation, it's about speaking proper english! "i want to open up a cake shop". DIRECT CHINESE TRANSLATION?! can you say it this way instead? "i would like to set up a bakery." this sounds better. duh. nevermind about that too. seriously, i somehow think that the people who let her through the initial interviews are somehow to be blamed for causing such a "stir" if seriously any. also, SHE AIN'T PRETTY at all, and haven't got x-factor or whatever you name it. look at her lips and i can puke. !

she simply hasn't seen the world enough. she puts the blame for her UBER LOUSY ENGLISH on speaking in front of cameras, crowds, microphones. like so then why did you even enter the peagant? for others to ridicule you? then, when asked about whether she thinks she's a role model or any sort, she actually dared to say YES?! guess what. according to what she said during the interview, i've come to a conclusion.

1) everyone MUST err in life so that you can have a chance to ADMIT your MISTAKE.
admitting to one's own mistake to her is being a role model.!!!!!!!