我需要一杯咖啡
苦涩不加糖
让咖啡因在身上乱打一通
五脏六腑
不睡觉

不可以不睡觉
脸上痘痘越来越多
怎么过年？
一粒痘就是一个结
解了就好了

单刀直入赤裸裸
我就是需要这种千刀万剐
忍痛
就能成长
 

忽然间在电脑里找到一片未完成的部落格：
 
XXX
 

落夜，一个人在P05，开着电脑。名为做毕业论文，实为上网。

第三天了。我却享受这种安静的感觉，远离嘈杂的声音。这个学期我的生活很充实，毕业论文+功课+PELTAC，每天都有行程，比大老板还要忙。没有怨言，只是会懒散，把功课丢一边，一头栽进放纵的玩乐和活动的晕眩。

多想抽点时间，上来写写这个过程中的点点滴滴。无奈业余时间被我拿来挥霍了：睡觉，看戏，出门，打机。情怀很多，无暇挥洒。想写一些我的感想，经历，让团队里的筹委一起共勉之。用文字留下有血有泪的经历，让看不到的人能够感受我一路走来不容易。哈，挂在指尖的wishlist。

很多人觉得奇怪，干嘛我会奋身PELTAC，让自己忙得不可开交，而且一忙就忙三届。它只不过是一个全国大专生活营，有什么值得我去延续？

Simon a.k.a. Ah Wang,

Hey bro, it’s time for me to give you a proper sugarcube, haha!

Don’t know how can I express my words, you have been supporting PELTAC all the time, from beginning until the end. Sometimes I still wondering, what will happen if you were the one who selected as director of PELTAC 2010 during our Air Papan trip this January. Will the team be better? Well, time can’t turn back, we have to move forward, just a crappy thought.

You mentioned some OC can’t satisfy your requirement. Well I can tell you, neither me as well. We are hard to pleased, not everyone can take on our level. But I realized something, when it comes to camp’s time, the thing matters is motivation. I realized it in the middle of the camp during extreme sports day, it’s not too late though. As a leader, we put people before us, we success only when our subordinate success. Still, I’m giving myself a 49/100, giving my committee 80/100. For me, university programme is a place for us to make mistakes, in order for us to alert not to repeat it again. A lot of mistakes I accumulated this year, I guess it’s a great leap for both of us this year, right?

A lot of thoughts on leadership wanna share with you next time when we meet. We are 2 distinguish types of people, somehow we manage to match each other and make brothers LOL. Gotta stop here, later you will get diabetes, love you bro!

“we can do it, and finally we will make it”

TY

等下唱K!
是时候宣泄一下
排山倒海的责任
目中无人的鸟话
接踵而来的考试
安慰自己
越艰苦的环境
造就越坚强的人
摔得越痛
才越会飞行
谢谢介绍我《每一天都不同》的人
很贴切
感恩
想对我的战友说
我们做的
是旁人无法理解的重任
是别人无法偷取的经验
它是一个
比平常高一点的栏杆
越过去
我们对自己的评估就不一样了
脱胎换骨
最后一年
过得比别人不一样
不仅仅是恼人的FYP
还有超级挑战的PELTAC
不奢望别人了解
把自己做好
形成一个强大的磁铁
不许多余的言语
就能遇知音

峨峨兮若泰山
洋洋兮若江河
知己难觅
知音难寻
we embrace the people with the same thought
and we smile to those who are not   

好久没有写blog了
太忙？
懒惰？
不想找借口
你知道吗
只有在
万籁俱寂
夜深人静
空无一人
才有那种思绪
那种情绪
让手指在键盘上舞动
让思绪在荧幕上颤斗

深寂的FKE
让我想起去年在N28度过了多少夜晚
挥洒多少感觉
现在部落格蜘蛛网丛生
一片安宁
也许
这就是我要找的吗？
不许也许
也许是一种不肯定
不自信
要求太高？
没有
要求高的话
一早死于非命了
这个是我最严峻的考验
问题一个接一个
太极推了一招又一招
超人不会飞
所以我学会停歇
挥霍剩余的时间
多么的任性
想做什么就做什么
大吃
玩game
看戏
不读书
管它final year project
叛逆的感觉太棒
挥霍的感觉好烂
大起大落的心情
体会到什么？
珍惜别人的付出
所以我感恩
我珍惜
别人说我多厉害
我想说
我不要当超人
我一个头两只手两只脚
跟你一样
我能做的你也能做
我只不过比你多那一份心
心 断定一切啊

part time academic - full time PELTAC - overtime PELTAC
甘拜下风
跟simon讲好了
明年二月四号凌晨
我们把酒
一笑泯PELTAC & IEM
  

好久没上来

我的确很坏

只有心情不好的时候才上来

写写几句

发泄发泄

不发泄

会神经病咧

啊

糟透了

失望

无助

也许这就是我的考验

一直这样安慰自己

可是

还是很难过

每个人心中的一把尺都不一样

怎么比呢

人家真的不是我

若要人像我

就有两个我

算了

经过这一劫

将会更成熟

啊

好多了

写部落格真的可以疗伤

比内功疗伤还要强

原来

这里是我的伤心收集地

收集起来

把它化为希望

从此

明天会更好

团体工作

我真的需要你们

真的

希望

你们听得到

不要站在我身边

却给我空希望

不闻不问

不理不睬

XXX

好想分享internship点滴

可是真的好忙

Full time PELTAC part time TNB

好想看到

卸任后的我

加油

加油

期末

又是carry marks出炉时

power electronics第一个粉墨登场

垫底的感觉很奇怪

有点无奈

有点哭笑不得

虽然test 2扳回一城

但test 1实在是太烂了

惨不忍睹

一粒老鼠屎坏了整锅粥

说不伤心是假的

也许是时候让我这条懒虫一个当头棒喝吧

砰！

打我一个惊天动地

打我一个魂飞魄散

XXX

课完啦

再见啦

学长们毕业啦

劳燕分飞

最初的梦想

变成最后的荒唐？

大学·学大

你又成长了多少？

剩下一年了

恋爱学分继续tarik diri

没了这个牵绊

做事更无后顾之忧

是好是坏

因人而异啦

最后一年套上学生的光环

好好珍惜

XXX

一个人吃饭

以前曾经怜悯这种人

现在自己却加入行列

当自己不是在那个状况中

是没有资格对它作出评语

好道理

一直以来很享受吃饭时间

除了睡觉以外，唯一可以放下所有的一刻

静静的嚼

慢慢的吃

那个时段

没有功课，没有PELTAC

全世界仿佛只有我和食物共处

就这么简单

与朋友一起吃饭固然好

当大家都有自己的生活时

是时候站在自己的脚上

吃饭

啊

肚子饿

XXX

写作是种瘾

让我欲罢不能

再见

我会想念这个学期

会想念k10 （拿不到quota）

会想念你

三个月

没有写部落格

好多好多事情发生

却没有记录

去了新加坡渡圣诞

与PELTAC朋友闹air papan

做了一个多月的career path 2010

新年乱吃吃到生病

做了总策划

考试只拿12/40

新的OC进来了

虎年

是否能行大运？

一向都不是很相信命运

自己掌握自己的方向

何必交给一枚钱币决定？

我多话了

我开始指挥人了

读书的心更遥远了

这个更度期

心情起伏也不少

做自己

回归大好人和懒散

还是让自己成为更好的领袖？

挣扎

有时不是不想写

只是不想让负面情绪流露

吸引力法则啊

也许可以呕出来后

再往垃圾桶一丢

Settle

XXX

传达消息的速度让人吃惊

面子书，朋友之间的闲话

在别人的眼中

我是个怎样的人？

没有要活在他人眼里

只求做好自己

被委以重任的感觉真的不简单

既然选择

就没有后悔

不要做自我表达强烈的草莓族

我要有能力

就算2012灭亡

我也对得起自己

XXX

虎年

成双成对

真替他们高兴

加油

遇到自己喜欢的认真的不容易

要珍惜

这些话听得真多啊

为何天下断肠人还是这样多？

忠言逆耳

还是身不由己？

选择还是在自己手中

双方面都有责任

Supply and demand

以经济的角度来讲

一点也没有错

我这个理工男

闷死女生了

哈

要找我

请三思

但保证你

不会后悔

如有后悔

七天退货！

It’s been a year I recalled back the moment I wrote my blog using English because of Shell-PELTAC 2008. Can’t imagine how year 2009 had driven me into another level, which make me redefine myself.  I’m still the same person, but with the experience I gained throughout the journey of PELTAC 2009, those gorgeous people I met during months of preparation before the camp, I become more mature and have new thoughts in my life. Without PELTAC, for the very now I might be still picking up an AK47 and ready for another ambush in Counter Strike or chasing down a dying hero in DotA field.  Too much I want to say but I don’t know where I shall start. Well I guess I just follow my heart and let the feelings fly on the monitor.

Driven by the little touch from participating Shell-PELTAC 2008, I decided to join the organizing committee of PELTAC 2009. I wondered how these 20+ students can make such prestige and impressive national camp, by inviting those great speakers to share their knowledge and experience with the participants. I never expect my coursemates like Michelle, Dora, Pui Yee, Wei Hau, Jun Yik them also interested in joining the committee as some of them never join the camp before. Eventually we got into the team and start our work by April. Actually during the recruitment, my first choice of department was Marketing as I thought this department might get know more people than others. However my kind director Kien Yu gave me my second choice: Programme department. I still remember his reason for offering me programme officer: because I’m his friend! Gosh, this opportunity makes me who I am today and I’m so grateful for him.

I attended the very first induction night on April. I met with my department mates Yee Wai, Abdirahman, Yousuf. Initially I doubted whether I can work with people who have different background, even different country. Abdirahman and Yousuf are from Somalia Land, we were once apart so far away but starting from that moment we were going to work together. We started our task, had countless meeting at PSZ and P19, even online meetings during holidays, and went to those offices like HEP, Sports Unit, Security Unit, CTL, JPAM and many more. We had different opinions, we had arguments, but these arguments that made the camp better. We built friendships, we evolved, and we made the programme of PELTAC 2009. We gave tons of support to each other, we learned from each other. None of these could be learned from our super thick text book, and that makes us different from other graduates in the future, right?

Before preparation week, we did worked with other departments but not that much. The bonding day we organized in October bonded some of us but not all. The real bond tied up during the preparation week. The free OCs helped the busy OCs; we worked together toward one ultimate goal: make PELTAC 2009 success! I felt sorry for joining our preparation week late, but I was glad that I didn’t be late for another day. Every day in preparation week was so precious, especially the day before PELTAC 2009 (5^th December) where the atmosphere was so gloomy and everyone was so down. This was probably due to the number of participants and some undone task.  However I enjoyed the whole process started from preparation week until the end of the camp. During the whole duration, I slept 3 hours per day but I didn’t feel much tired. Maybe my spirit had supported my throughout the whole duration and eventually I felt extremely tired right after the camp finished at Friday. Haha!

I wrote much, but not yet finish. We invited Datin Paduka Marina Mahathir, International Training Development JB branch, Vdimensions, Hanim Awab, Mohd Rizal Hassan, Johor Bahru Toastmaster Club, Super FX Consultancy, and Law Chu Hian to conduct seminar and workshop for this year PELTAC 2009. Datin’s presence was a surprise, as I never thought she will reply me when the first time I left comment on her blog. But she did, and she showed up in PELTAC 2009. This proved to me that where there‘s a will, there is a way. Same goes to other speakers, I had a great time involved in those seminars and workshops, especially talking to them. Talking to those successful people was very inspiring, and their experience they shared was brilliant. This was the main reason I accepted the responsibility of programme officer, which is able to get contact with those great speakers, learn from their conversation, the way they deliver their ideas.  Too much speakers, I can’t quote everything they said. Probably if you meet me next time, I can share with you. :)

PELTAC 2009 ended, left with satisfied participants (most I think), exhausted yet happy OCs and SCs, and a bunch of sweet memories. By viewing my piece of certificate for PELTAC 2009 will not discover the pain and gain deep inside it. Do you know what matters in the end of the day? That is we have FUN! I’m looking forward to PELTAC 2010, and deep in my heart I know, next year will be another great year for all the SCs and OC-going-to-be! See you in PELTAC 2010!

P/S: what’s next? A bunch of OCs+ SCs outing + post camp trip!

做了一个梦，梦还没完就惊醒了。梦醒过后却是一阵疲惫。

让我确定自己完全清醒，再把一切归零，重新开始。

世人本无忧，庸人自忧之。没有要怨天尤人，大学生涯过了一半，剩下一年半的短短光阴。如何好好善用这宝贵的时间才是我应该做的事啊。

好多事想做，不知道能不能完成呢？

重整心情，在这个宝贵的周末，好好为我的《PELTAC心厉路程》写下完美的完结篇。

加油。

XXX

停止让面子书自动update我的部落格，保留我这一片小小的私人地。