+oil
一个人自己在学校,不懂要做什么,好无聊...
爸爸生病了,进了医院,嗨,为什么最近的事情总是那么的不顺利..好烦啊..
礼拜一要考试了,完全没有信心..累掉..
要学书了,考试的同仁,一起加油吧..!!
2008年06月09日..
这一天,我踏出了人生的一大步,我选择来了这里,一个完全陌生的国度,一个我从未想会到达的地方。然而,接着一股冲动的我来到了这里,展开了我的新生活。如今,经过了漫长的10个月,我又开始有了同样的疑问 --- “我应该来这里吗? ”
2008年10月10日..
这一天,是我在这个地方的转折点,因为我遇见了你,让我明白我不是自己一个人的,我不是孤独的。沉溺在你的疼爱,你的温柔,你满满的爱之下,不知为何,我依然存有同样的疑问,同样的问题不断重复在我的脑海里 --- “我应该来这里吗?”
回到古晋的这一段日子,我终于明白了自己的任性,自己的一时冲动带给了父母,甚至兄姐们很多的烦恼。心里不禁感到了内疚,恨自己当初不该那样的冲动,恨自己当初不该那么的不成熟,但是,我什么都不能做,只能在这里感到内疚,感到亏欠。
看到父亲的背影,才发现,父亲老了。迟婚的父亲,如今已经快67岁了,原本是个该享清福的时候却还为了我这个不孝女儿而努力奔波,看了,心好疼。悠悠记得上一通电话,你告诉我,”不用担心金钱的问题,好好念书就好了”,我懂我知道,其实你没钱了,为了不让我担心,你才这样说的,我听了,很心疼。好想好好念书,好想考好好给你看的,但是,不懂为什么总是考不好。久而久之,压力很大,大到我一直逃避,不想读书,好..愧疚。
其实,我不应该来到这里的,如果我没有一时冲动,我就不会受伤害,家人就不会为了我的学费、生活费而感到烦恼,我就不必为了考到好成绩而感到压力。我应该乖乖的呆在古晋,一个属于我的地方,和别人一样,去上本地的大学、上完棵就帮妈妈看店、定时定后存点钱和姐姐去旅行、晚上无聊就驾着我的小红去找朋友到jalan song喝茶、星期六晚上就和朋友到star去看戏、拿到工钱就找姐妹去spring逛街...
但是,一切的一切都离我而去了,幸运的是,我找的了一个很爱我的男朋友、一群不错的朋友、一个对我不错的前室友..我必须努力的调适自己,努力的让自己融入这里,一个其是不属于我的地方,一个人在外面的感觉真的是,X!
我好想回到我的中学走走、我好想到河滨公园喝teh tarik、我好想到玉壶轩吃牛肉面+蛋饼+锅贴、我好想去jalan song吃honey bbq chicken+烧鱼、我好想8月的时候去food fair、我好想到spring排队买donuts、我好想一个人驾着小红到处兜风然后去在妈妈收店、我好想...我现在好想..好想哭..
在一个宁静、失眠、心烦意乱的晚上*早上,我好想家、好想古晋、好想你们…
recently i cant sleep early..always fall asleep around 4-5am...i have no idea why this happen...so worried...sometimes i really worried about my dar...he always put a lot of effort on basketball and friends...he really..love me? i don like the feel..being ignore..when u chit chat with ur fren..u always forget about me...actually it is nothing...just i jealous...i always cant get ur awareness...seems that u are not interested with me...i don like these feelings la...i wana go back malaysia as fast as possible...i wan to meet u...i wan to stay with u always....i don like to seperate with u...I MISS YOU A LOT DARLING...I LOVE U...=*
christmas break now..so bored..everyday stay at home..sleep until 2.30pm..wake up den eat brunch den bath..after bath den watch show..SUPER DUPER BORED..plus..it's summer now..FREAKING HOT MAN!! haiiix...next week going to start class..my dardar also going to kl for summer class too..hope time past quickly..31th jan den can go back and meet my dardar~** ^^ new year eve i called my parent..yuuuhoooo..daddy said when i go back will cook sharkfin and cook a lot of nice foods for me..gg lo..sure gained weight de..xP..dono wat to write la..heheehhe....i miss kch..i miss dardar..i miss every1..
since you back to jb..everything changed..you become busier..the time we spend together become less..i know and understand the reason why it's happen..but i can't control myself to care and angry about it..you're just like a kite..if i make it too tight..you'll feel uncomfortable..but if i make it too loose..you'll flew away from me..it's hard for me to control the kite..we have argue these few days..just because of those stupid idiot reason..but honey..what i have to tell you is..i'm felt that the gap between us is keep on increasing..i can't feel you..you're lost..i have no idea why these thing will happen..we are so sweet..maybe it's really tough for me to face the problem of long distance..i hate it..i super duper HATE this feel..i can't find you..i lost you..i'm so freaking scared..i really miss you..miss you like crazy..honey..today is the last day of 2008..i wish that..everything will change in 2009..i really love you..sorry..
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