Ai Ting 的紫色角落

Not been here for a while now sorry for the away. I know lots of people been wondering where have I been, well possibly just a few not lots hahaha..
i haven't gone lost, just been busy lately with stuff and going away.
For those got my Facebook possibly knew my latest news and update.
Been to West Wales for my birthday in April then to Plymouth for Dave's birthday, back to work then went to Prague in October for Esther's birthday. 
At the meantime, sort out my visa status now as a Tier 1 Highly Skilled Migrant in UK, 2 years later I will be ok to apply for Permanent Residence if and only if I'm still in UK and plan to stay over.
The latest news is I've resigned from my job at Asda one month ago. Now serving for my notice until January, then go home for Chinese New Year for 3 weeks then back to UK jobless, will be going to do some locuming for a while to see how the situation is.
Lots of people may think I'm silly quitting a good job at this time while most people is under unemployment and locums seems to be hard to get job lately.
But I'm quite happy with my decision so far and know I'm doing the right thing - just that I want to keep and be a professional person and wanting to work in a professional environment with a group of professional people. 
Hated and fed up with people keep playing up in a team messing everything round, making up stories to cover their lies and fault, ignoring us as a team, people not working professionally and team-focused, an environment turns to be unpractical and unethical to work under Code of Ethics, people doing whatever they want, in a place of tonnes and tonnes of pressure and stress etc etc.
Professionals seems to be unprofessionals
I'm leaving, in general, just want to keep and maintain a way of professionalism. I don't care what's gonna to happen on me for example if I can't get job as a locum. I'll definitely look for a relief job if one available. Worst to the worst is going home for good.. well.. not too worst really at least my family are there. I'm not worried too much about it now at least I've got my visa sorted. I've no pressure about money at the moment, would be good from February onwards that I can have a bit of rest while taking on some shifts here and there. By then, possibly will take on some distant learning courses to gain some extra qualification and knowledge before I go home.
Things too far to be good this year. Lots of things happened just in a short 2008. It gone too quick before I can catch it. That's another reason why I'm not been here for a while. Wishing a good year 2009 to come. All the best xxx

我知道有很多東西你給不了我
失去很多可得到的是什麼
快樂嗎我在想
這不是你的錯或許
只不過讓我很多時候覺得你畢竟還是個小孩
沟通上可能是個問題
但相處才是重點
會是你嗎真的會是你嗎
我只知道我不需要一個孩子
有些時候我也想自處
也想不用擔心那麼多
因為之前一個人時沒有的事為什麼現在會是個障礙
日子可以輕鬆很多
如果不是個孩子

才不過一個星期
一早就知道會有一些改變
之前擔心的可能卻還好
無形的變化卻讓人受不了
這只是初期的改變
可能會變好也可能會惡化
只不過一點點小事情就足以讓人熱淚盈眶
一丁點的小甜頭就讓人手舞足蹈
它讓人變得很脆弱
一時快樂一時憂鬱
這只不過是剛開始而已

入火坑? 還是自保?
之前有朋友 "警告" 過我最好不要
有些朋友卻和我說 "你應該知道怎麼保護自己".
他們都說我一向知道自己要的是什麼
可能吧.. 或許吧...
有點懷疑我自己到底要的是什麼
可能真的是個問題吧
我看到的很多很遠可是卻悶不吭聲
因為我相信機會可以改變命運
但卻不知道機會可以有多少次
就算命運後來可能會勝過機會
那也算是在保護自己而不是在害自己
只要堅定原有的心態
不管怎麼樣都算自保

so glad I'm back to UK!!! loving the fresh air here lol...
thanks to everyone in Singapore, in Malaysia who truly support and listen to me from heart..
We're doing great here just to say... nothing much changed but getting better..
Just knowing how a big difference in thinking of people in the Oriental and West.. cultural difference
In the West.. people will see it as a good sign and feel happy for us... but in the Oriental.. we need to think lot more.. like it isn't acceptable or such...
oh well.. neither of us care now cos as long as we're happy...
Just need to be careful what am I going to say now... 
真心祝福我們的朋友 我萬分感激
我不需要代言人 沒有人有資格替我說話
真正了解事情的來龍去脈除了我們兩個就只有我的一個死黨
其他不懂的人就請住口 只是不想把事情變得更複雜
I would say maybe I won't care what other people would say about us... but If I'm from a city like such, I'd have think of the consequences and everything.
I know I couldn't prevent it but can't it be just leave it to us please?! Just leave it to us.. cos it's absolutely nothing to do with you anyway... sigh...

"不管別人怎麼看我　我只相信愛沒錯
不要對我懷疑太多　或去猜測我們的以後
不怕再多冷眼看我　我只相信愛沒錯
不問結果是什麼　永遠不算什麼

永遠不算什麼　只要是曾經愛過"

兜了一個大圏還是一樣回到原點
到底想怎麼樣就應該怎麼解決
繞啊繞的總不是個好事
這樣也不是那樣也不是那要怎麼樣
這沒有中間點可論　不可行
難道就不可以清楚一點嗎
你知道該怎麼做
我講得很清楚明白
要做不做決定在你
只有恨心才會總結
繞著問題轉啊轉煩只煩著你
又關我什麼屁事呢
我又以什麼心情關心那麼多閑事

已經看出事情的不可能
應當不要再加太多
事情要怎麼結尾什麼時候結尾
看似沒有總點
說得太多做得太多只會落人話柄

開了個頭有了想法己經明白
預計的手榴彈已經開始引爆
核子彈也快了吧

Only slept for an hour on Saturday early morning at 5.30am then got up to work til 1pm
Like a zombie and dazed, my mind was ok but I can feel my body was very very tired...
Went back home after work and couldn't bother about the time, tooke a Nytol One-A-Night and wait for the tablet to kick in effect
I don't think it is a muscle relaxant thou but it did gave me such an effect.. lol
Not feeling like going to deep sleep, probably because there's something on my mind .... still....
oh well.. and my IBS is bothering me and I got up few times after taking the Nytol on bed..
the whole day like dazed out really and couldn't get out of the bed... 
yet.. I was on the bed from 3pm on Saturday to 8am on Sunday and I skipped my meals for the whole Saturday..
haven't got anything for about 36 hours... woops....
No breakfast, no lunch and no dinner on Saturday...
No doubt.. being scolded after... woops.. 
Sorry.. but I promised I won't do this again... for not eating.... lol

Well then..
I don't know what kept me up
but I had a sleepless night
It's now 4am Saturday and I couldn't get myself to sleep
I got to go to work Saturday on 7.30am and I'd have a busy day after work
I got to work on Sunday and Monday as well..
Just a sleepless night after a non-sense talk
I will be fine lol..

流言



(女)我一直以為不會在乎他們談論
　　就算是身邊已經充滿各種耳語
(男)但我卻看到你那美麗的臉
　　在多采多姿生活中漸漸蒼白
　　漸漸蒼白
(女)我一直以為不會在乎他們眼神
　　就算是身邊已經充滿指指點點
(男)但我卻看到你那燦爛的笑靨
　　在紛紛擾擾話題中漸漸沈默
(合)漸漸改變
(男)流言傳來傳去　說不停　不知道何時能平息
(女)流言轉來轉去　請相信　我的心純真如往昔
　　　　　　 (男：我相信　你的心純真如往昔)
(合)流言飄來散去　會隨著每一天淡去無痕跡
(女)但願你相信
(男)我依然相信(愛你)
(合)最真的心