May 28, 2010

I wonder where I am heading

When I graduated from high school, I wonder where I would be ended up at
not specifically the location, but more of a future settlement
I knew which college I will be attending, although no major in my mind
I started trying out different area to determine my very own path
forgot how I ended up in linguistics
probably due to my failure on other fields - science, math....
maybe it was also my ability to acquire new langauges, adapt new environment, and experience new culture
and so it led to my second major - Asian & Asian American Studies
interrelated between culture and language

Thus, I found my path which basically led me to nowhere after three and a half year's study in college
Not that I didn't gain any knowledge from my majors
Just that it seems like they are not coming into good use, not leading to a "career"

Why am I saying this when I graduated earlier than others, have stable "jobs", and will be getting my MA soon.
Am I not satisfied? I didn't realize that until this very last second when I am about to quit my jobs.
I know they are just jobs. But they do make me feel ashamed because I am not doing what I want to do and I am not earning what a college grad supposed to be earning
I am not satisfied with myself, not the jobs.

I am thinking, what if I got my MA? Where am I going with that?
I am starting to lose it. Losing the vision.
Evelyn, how do you want your future to be like?
Do belittle you and me.

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Personal Category: 心情日记 Topic: feeling / personal / murmur
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