In the middle......
Have you ever feel like you’re in the middle of a fight that you can’t help it but get in the mix? That’s how I feel right now in my own house hold. I’m in the middle of the thin line drawn between my parents and other family members. I can’t really decide on which side and I can’t tell who’s right and wrong. I love my parents and without them I can’t be here right now typing this. But then again on the other side are my grandma and uncle that saw me growing up. Without, my grandma I won’t have a sense of life and I would be a deep hole that I can never get out of. She’s my light and guardian when my worlds have no one. I trust her with my life and darkest secrets. But then again I don’t know what to do.
I struggle in bed, twisting and turning on what to do. I feel like a piece of jig saw puzzle unable to be solved. Why do the adults have to do this to kids? I mean I can’t handle more stress and fear. I can’t handle more tears. My heart is becoming weary and darkens by the deception of hatred. I feel like I’m slowly losing the happiness in me. Big Bang is my happiness and I’m scare if one day I lose them then where my happiness will come from? I feel like nothing…no one….understands….where do I go? Do I stay on one side or stay in the middle of a line? I look down at this white imaginary line running through my family side. I dream of my family drifting away and that my birthday evens my graduation plus other family events will no longer happen.
My family, something I had in my life before, is slowly drifting away one day at a time. Things will never be a same and I will no longer be the same…….